Love hurts. It’s cliché, but it’s one of those sayings that has stood the test of time because of its truth. Even in the best circumstances love can involve some very intense pain, and things don’t get much worse than unrequited love.
At some point, just about everyone falls for a person who is in a relationship with someone else. Some people do overcome the odds and achieve the love they dream about, but most people end up disappointed.
We can’t tell you how things will work out for you, but we can give you some tips for navigating these troubled waters. Remember, you’re not alone. Billions of men have been in your shoes before, and billions of men have been able to move on and find love.
Don’t get your hopes up
I know what many of your are thinking. “She might like him, but who knows how long that will last!” It is true that there is probably still some kind of chance. She might break up with him, or he might shoot her down. Still, there is also a chance that you might win the lottery but that doesn’t mean you should stop saving money and start buying lottery tickets.
If she likes someone else, then chances are she’s not into you, and that’s something that isn’t easily changed. The best thing to do is usually admitting that it isn’t meant to be and moving on. Too many people waste their lives waiting around for people that don’t care about them, don’t fall into this trap.
Realize that you are valuable
Many people think that if they get rejected, it means that they aren’t valuable human beings. That couldn’t be farther from the truth, or else all humans would be worthless. The truth is that attraction is something that goes beyond logic.
You could start doing everything just like the man your crush likes, and in the end, she would probably still choose him over you. Women aren’t robots you can control with programming and switches. This can be frustrating, but it can also be freeing. Even if you were a rich model there would still be women who would turn you down. Your worth isn’t defined by the women you attract.
Get some space
It can be hard to move on from someone if you have to see them every day. This is why it’s a bad idea to go after people you work with, after a rejection or a breakup live can feel like torture. Sometimes what you really need to do is put some distance between you and her.
Once she’s out of sight, it will be easier to put her out of your mind. If you follow her on social media either remove her or stop following her, so you don’t have to see her face every time you open up your phone.
Meet other people
Is this girl the first girl you’ve ever liked? If she is, then you’re probably too young to worry about settling down. Chances are you’ve liked girls in the past and when you were in love you were completely focused on them. But now do you even remember all of their names?
The fact is that there are millions of women out there who could make you happy. You need to get out there and meet some of those women, so you realize that losing out on one girl isn’t the end of the world.
Remember that you don’t need to jump into a different relationship, you just need to start getting to know other people. Humans are social creatures; we’re not meant to be alone. Just don’t think that you need a girlfriend to stave off that loneliness, friends can help you through too.
Tell her how you feel
OK, so far we’ve focused on steps you can take to move on, but I know some of you are still looking for ways to turn your situation around and get the girl. That’s because in most cases it’s a lost cause. Still, there is one thing that can work in most situations.
If your heart won’t let go and you feel you have a chance then be honest with her. Tell her how you feel about her and see how she reacts. The thought of putting yourself out there can be scary but what is the alternative?
Even if she didn’t like someone else, there’d still be a good chance that you’d be rejected. At a certain point, every man has to put aside fear and take a chance. Even if she rejects you at least, you’ll get some closure so you can move forward with less baggage.
Remember, if you tell her how you feel and she rejects you then it’s game over. Trying to change a girl’s mind in these matters is a fool’s errand. What’s worse, it can easily turn into harassment, and the last thing you want to do is hurt a girl you care about.
Emotions run high when it comes to rejection. It’s natural to feel an impulse to lash out, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Lots of guys go from fawning over women to calling every name in the book as soon as they realize there’s no romantic attraction there.
This is a complete jerk move, and if you act like this, it will just prove to her that you weren’t worthy of her affection in the first place. If you can’t treat her with respect, then you need to avoid her altogether and work on your emotions somewhere where you won’t hurt other people.
Who knows, if you are able to stay friends with the girl in question maybe some day she’ll come around to you. Just don’t bet on it happening, only keep girls in your life if you honestly enjoy their company.
Live your life
Feel free to take some time to mourn the relationship that couldn’t be but don’t let it control you. No girl should be the center of your world, even if you are in a relationship.
A healthy relationship comes out of two fulfilled individuals looking to make their lives better together; they don’t come out of desperate people trying to use others to fill the holes in their lives.
If you’re not satisfied with your life, then work on achieving a life you’re happy with. When you achieve that you’ll find that more women will want to be a part of your new and interesting life.