Running into an ex isn’t an ideal situation for anyone. What’s even worse is when you run into your most recent ex-boyfriend. That’s a scene straight out of a horror film, wouldn’t you agree? Heart beating fast, eyes on the exits, anticipating the disaster that comes next- That all sounds like a scary movie plot to us. However, seeing your ex out and about at the same time as you is all too often. Especially if the two of you still live within the same city limits of each other. There’s no doubt that you will see them around once in awhile. Whether at the grocery store or a mutually favorite bar, it’s inevitable. Seeing them is hard, but what’s even more difficult is what you are supposed to do after you spot them.
‘Omg, there he is! What do I do, what do I do?!’
Well, first off, don’t panic!
Remind yourself that this is an ex-boyfriend, not a new crush. There’s no need to get your blood pumping that fast or go into full freak-out mode. Just stay calm.
Now that you’re calm, here some other things that you can do when you see your ex-boyfriend:
Think ahead of time about what you are going to do when you run into your ex. Surely you have spent time playing out a theoretical scene in your head where you bump into them somewhere. Be honest, we all do it when we go through a breakup.
Instead of just imagining it happening, try to think critically about what you are going to when it does. Because, most likely, it will turn into a dreaded reality at some point.
It’s almost like teaching yourself lines to a play. Act it out in your head and then follow through when it comes true. Think about how calm you want to be, what you want to say and how you want to proceed with your conversation. This will help you ensure that you are not caught off guard when you see them.
You have the opportunity to ignore them, but that isn’t always possible. Some of our exes tend to cling onto every chance they get to see you, especially if you were the one to end it. If he is the one who ended, he might feel obligated to say something when he sees you because he carries a little bit of guilt about the whole thing. Either way, you should at least acknowledge that they are present in the same area as you. You can simply give them a nod and a wave. Otherwise you can say hello and initiate conversation with them.
You probably have a lot that you want to say to your ex, but it is best to keep the talk as short as possible.
Feel free to make them aware that you are doing just fine and dandy without them, but do not over do it and come off as boastful. That isn’t a good look on anyone. If you exaggerate, your ex may catch on and you will just look really silly.
If you have decided that you do not want to talk to your ex, say hello anyways. However, instead of going into the customary ‘how’s it going?’ and ‘what’s new?’ discussion, let them know that you have a prior engagement to attend. They will get the picture that you are in a hurry and don’t have time for any small talk.
Try not to get too personal with them. Going too deep may only bring up emotions that you would rather stay locked away. You don’t want to hear about how great their life is and that they are considering adopting a cat with their new girlfriend Sherry, do you?
We don’t think so.
Avoid Making It Worse
This pertains to a few different things that you could do when you run into your ex. It also pertains to how these things always make the situation much, much worse.
Stay away from alcohol at all costs. It’s very common to run into your ex at a bar or a party. Of course, it’s going to be stressful, so you may have to fight the urge to down three or seven more shots to help you cope. However, getting drunker (if you are already drunk) or drinking can lead you to make stupid decisions. You may feel the need to harass them, yell at them or even try to go home with them. You will most likely say many things that you will wake up to regret. Just avoid the booze.
Don’t try to make them jealous. Breakups are hard on everyone, even your ex-boyfriend. Being inappropriate with someone else in front of them could be hurtful and rude.
Delete The #
Delete your ex-boyfriend’s number, even before you run into them. This way you won’t feel the need, or even be able to, text or call them after you see them. It will help you to forget about them when the sighting is over.
Don’t even think about texting them. You’ve got this!