Having an unexpected run in with your ex-girlfriend is kind of like riding a bicycle. You must maintain your balance and keep going to make it work. That means not letting these horrifying meetings throw you off too much.
To simply put it: Keep it together man.
We know it’s tough. Maybe you can’t stand her anymore and just looking at her makes your stomach turn. Or maybe she looks too pretty in that new sundress and you are starting to miss her a little bit. Either way, keep yourself as calm and collected as you possibly can.
After you have yourself chill, you can decide how you want to proceed in the situation.
Not sure what to do next?
Don’t worry, there’s a few different tips and tricks to help you through the undesirable situation of seeing your ex-girlfriend:
It seems weird to say plan ahead, doesn’t it? You probably don’t want to think about running into your ex, but then again you have probably replayed the scenario like a movie in your head since the breakup. Most likely, you are hoping that this run in isn’t going to happen. However, it’s very unlikely that you won’t see her again, especially if the two of you live in the same city to this day.
It’s even harder to avoid her if you have mutual friends. So, our advice is to plan ahead of time, this way you will be prepared for when/if it does happen.
Think about it in your head. Picture running into her in the grocery store, a bar or the park.
What will you do? What will you say? How will you react?
Those are the questions that you should be asking yourself to help you prep. It will make it much easier for you to stay calm if you plan ahead of time.
Ignoring them is always on the table, but it’s probably not the best way to go about things. Unless she hurt you beyond belief or did something that is unforgivable, you should try to acknowledge that you know she is there.
You can simply nod to let her know you are aware of her presence.
You can also just say a quick hello and be on your way.
It’s okay if she initiates conversation and you are not in the mood to talk with her. All you have to do is let her know that you have somewhere else to be soon and that you do not have time to talk.
‘Hey, it’s going good, but if you could excuse me I’m late for a meeting! It was nice seeing you.’
And that’s that.
When two people go through a breakup, one or both of them often harbor negative feelings. Whether there is resentment, hurt or anger, there is sometimes an unavoidable rift between them. This makes it quite difficult to stay civil towards one another when encountering each other.
It’s important to remember to play nice in any given situation.
No matter how much you want to talk things out or get into it with her, bite your tongue. The last thing you want to do is cause a scene, assuming that you run into each other in a public place, which is highly likely.
Even if you have no anger or hatred of any sort towards each other, keep it simple with her.
Don’t brag about your life or try to lie about things if you end up talking with her. This will only make you look like you are trying to hard and give the opposite reaction from her than you wanted.
Rely On Your Friends
You can always turn to your friends in these types of situations for support.
Let them know your concerns for running into your ex-girlfriend.
Ask a good friend of yours if you can put them on speed dial, so when you see your ex coming you can send a quick premade text or call. You could even think of a code, emoji or punctuation mark to send them. That way it will not take a lot of time to get the text out before your ex approaches.
Ask them to call you when you send out the ‘signal’ and pretend that they are beckoning you for something very important. This is a great way to get out of bad dates and a great way to avoid altercations with an ex, especially if the two of you have bad blood with one another.
Set A Meeting
This is not an option that is chosen by many. Not a lot of people want run into their exes incidentally, let alone on purpose. However, if you and your ex will be seeing each other often, i.e you share a lot of the same friends or have the same favorite hangout spots, then it is a good idea to set up a meeting. That way the two of you can talk about anything that might make these encounters awkward and you can set boundaries with each other.