When you like someone, it is only natural that you would want them to like you back. The hard part is figuring out exactly what the other person wants. A girl can say that she does not want a boyfriend, but still have feelings for you. She could also be trying to let you down easy. When your crush is sending you a confusing message, what should you do about it?
What to Say to a Girl If She Says She Doesn’t Want to Have a Boyfriend?
Before you even figure out why she might tell you that she doesn’t want to have a boyfriend, you should first remember one thing: if she does not want a boyfriend, she does not want a boyfriend. Listen to her. Everyone gets to make choices about who they do or do not date, and the rest of the world needs to respect that. For whatever reason, she does not want a boyfriend, so you have to respect that fact and forget about making a move or pushing her into a relationship that she does not want.
Why Would She Tell Me That She Doesn’t Want a Boyfriend?
When a girl tells you that she does not want a boyfriend, it can feel confusing. Is she trying to say that she doesn’t want any boyfriend at all? Or does she only mean that she doesn’t want you to be her boyfriend?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer. It is actually quite normal for girls to be uninterested in having a boyfriend. She might be really busy with work, school or fulfilling her goals. If she is constantly busy with her own goals, then she might not have time for a boyfriend. Even if she tried to date you anyway, either her relationship with you or her goals would suffer.
Other girls say that they do not want to have a boyfriend because they are not allowed to date yet. For example, her parents may have told her that she had to wait until she was 16 to start dating. She may be embarrassed by their rule, so she just told you that she is not interested in having a boyfriend. In reality, she cannot actually date anyone, but she was too embarrassed to tell you that.
Another reason why someone may not be interested in having a boyfriend is because they just got out of a serious relationship. If she seriously cared for her last boyfriend, she may not be emotionally ready for a new relationship yet. This does not mean that she is not interested in you; she is just smart enough to realize that she is not in an emotional place to be with anyone right now.
There are plenty of reasons why a girl might tell you that she does not want a boyfriend that have absolutely nothing to do with you. She may not be attracted to guys at all, so it isn’t your fault that she isn’t interested. She could only be interested in dating fellow Christians, Muslims, Buddhists or whatever her religion happens to be. She could just be too busy with the rest of her life to have a boyfriend. Whatever the case, the reason she told you that she does not want a boyfriend does not always have anything to do with you.
While there are plenty of cases where the girl does not want a boyfriend and it has nothing to do with the guy who she is talking to, there is always a chance that it is entirely about you. She may think that you are a wonderful friend and even a pseudo brother to her, but that does not mean that she wants to date you. There are so many things that go into attraction in the human mind that there is probably nothing that you can do. If she is not interested in you on a romantic level, then she may tell you that she is not interested in having a boyfriend as a way of letting you down easy.
What Should You Do or Say?
Be nonchalant and just go with it. While it might not be the answer that you wanted to hear, it is what she wants. Don’t be the jerk who keeps bothering someone or hitting on them when the girl already said that she isn’t interested. You can try to guess the underlying reason why she doesn’t want a boyfriend, but the fact remains that she is not interested in dating a guy. She might mean that she does not want to date you, or she might mean that she does not want to date anyone at all. When it comes down to it, it doesn’t really matter what her reasoning is because the result is still the same: you won’t be able to date her, and all you can do is move on.
If you were friends before and you want to remain friends with her, there is nothing wrong with that. Just remember that she does not want to be anything more than friends. Accept her decision and move on. If she someday wants a boyfriend and ends up liking you back, she’ll let you know. Until then, go out there and live your life.