Proposals are different for everyone. Some have lavish public proposals in front of friends, family, and complete strangers. And others propose in the privacy of their home. But no matter the setting, knowing exactly what to say when your boyfriend proposes can be tricky. So whether you want to marry him or not, we have the perfect responses for you.
When you want to marry him
He’s got the ring and the speech ready, and after everything he has said to convince you to one day be his wife, what’s the best thing to say?
“YES!” How else can you respond to wanting to marry the love of your life?! If you are absolutely positively sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with this man, then give him a loud, resounding yes that everyone watching can definitely hear. While you might think that a simple-one word answer isn’t dramatic enough for the hidden camera video he had planned for this moment, who can blame you when you were caught off-guard by a surprise proposal?
“I can’t marry you… I’m only joking!” Oh man, this is one of those things you probably shouldn’t do to your future fiancé unless he has a very good sense of humor. In a comedy skit by Ed Byrne where he set up a romantic date in the hope of proposing to his girlfriend. After about an hour of his girlfriend probably already knowing he’d propose, he eventually mustered up the courage to ask… Only to get this response. During the pause between “I can’t marry you” and “I’m only joking,” the comedian had already thought up of a scenario for their breakup until his girlfriend laughingly revealed that she said no for a joke. So if your guy is as much of a good sport as Ed Byrne, that’s probably the only time you should give this answer.
“I would be honored.” This one’s for the books. It’s formal, dignified, and something fit for a queen. When he gives you the whole speech about wanting to be your partner in life, through the good and the bad, you would also want to respond with something as eloquent, right? So when you feel like your boyfriend is about to propose to you, practice saying this line so that even when you’re caught up in the excitement and emotion, you’ll still be able to give him this response.
“Of course! There’s no way I could say no!” Skip the usual “yes” and give him a response that comes straight from your heart. Tell him that there’s no way you could ever say no to him and he’s sure to rise up a happy man.
When you don’t want to marry him
You’ve been dating for a while, but marriage just isn’t on your mind right now. Despite this, you notice that he’s suddenly being super romantic and before you know it, he’s down on one knee asking for your hand in marriage. But you’re not yet ready! What should you say?
“I’m not yet ready.” It’s honest and fast and perhaps a little painful. But if a guy is completely oblivious about how ready his girlfriend is to get married, of course the truth is going to sting. This response allows him to know that you’re not rejecting him because you’re breaking up or because you no longer love him. Instead, you’re rejecting his proposal because you want to sort your life (or lives) out before thinking of tying the knot.
“I think we’re going too fast.” It may not happen often, but some guys get so caught up in their emotions that they immediately want to marry the girl they’re with. This could pose to be a huge problem if you’ve only been dating for a short time. When you tell him that he’s going too fast, you’re telling him pretty much the same thing you would if you said you weren’t ready yet. However, by saying “we’re going too fast” you’re also saying that you want your relationship to progress even more before thinking of marriage. He would hopefully take this as constructive criticism.
“We need more time to think this through.” Marriage is a huge step in anyone’s life and no two people can instantly be equipped for it. If you think that marriage really isn’t the right thing for you two to be doing right now, tell him that you want to think things over. You can also explain why you want to think it over. For instance, perhaps you want to focus on your career first or you’re just not really sure you want to marry him. It may be an uncomfortable conversation, but it’s better than accepting his proposal only to reject it later on.
“I love you so much, but marriage isn’t really the best thing for us right now.” There are times when a guy might propose to you as a means of saying he’s sorry or as a means of trying to fix what’s wrong in a relationship. Maybe in his mind, he thinks that when you are clearly headed towards marriage, your relationship problems will magically work themselves out. This is hardly ever the case. If you sincerely think that he wants to get married for all the wrong reasons, give him this response.
Give him a hug and whisper, “let’s talk about this later.” This is the perfect way to get out of a very public marriage proposal that you don’t want to accept. Hugging him will get you both an applause, and it may make him think that you’re accepting. But tell him at a volume no one else can hear that you want to talk about it later. This will clue him in on the fact that you don’t want to accept his proposal, but you want to save him the embarrassment of a more outright rejection.
“I’m sorry.” If you truly, genuinely, absolutely do not want to marry the person proposing to you and you can’t muster up the words to explain why, just tell him you’re sorry. And yes, you have every right to walk away if it’s a public proposal. After all, you were caught off-guard, so you should first be able to gather up your thoughts before you explain why you don’t want to accept his proposal.
If you intend to accept your boyfriend’s upcoming proposal, congratulations! And if you’re adamant about not marrying him, well, we wish you the best of luck!