Nothing is worse than being rejected. When you have a crush on someone, it seems impossible that she could like you back. Even though you cannot believe that she could like you, you still hope that she does. When she actually rejects you, all of your hopes are crushed in one blow. Now, you have an awkward situation where you have to say something and hopefully leave. Figuring out what to say to women who reject you is not always easy. With practice, you can learn how to do this with confidence and grace.
Unless you are lucky enough to get your soul mate on the first try, you will be rejected at some point. Every guy and girl has gone through the same experience. You could be the most attractive man in the world and still face rejections from time to time.
The good news is that this is not a reflection on who you are. In the right relationship, both partners are like puzzle pieces. They fit together perfectly to complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses. If you are not the right puzzle piece, then it only makes sense that she would reject you. This is nothing to do with you or how attracted she is to you. She just does not think that you could ever be the right puzzle piece for her.
While it is certainly not your fault, it still sucks to be rejected. She may have known that you were not the right puzzle piece, but you thought that she would be perfect for you. Now, you have to figure out what to say to end the conversation and start moving on.
1. Keep Your Confidence
A rejection is often a blow to your self-confidence. Even though you logically know that it is not really about you, it feels like it is. You wonder what is wrong with you that caused her to reject you. You have to stop these kinds of thoughts before they happen. You will be much happier if you can just move on and forget about the rejection. There will be other girls, so just be patient and keep your chin up.
2. Stay Cool
The last thing you want to do is seem like a sore loser. First, it is never a good idea and shows a weak character. Second, there is always a chance she might change her mind in the future, and you don’t want to ruin your future chances right now. Plus, she could have friends or acquaintances that you may be interested in later on. If you lose your cool now, she will let her friends now if they start thinking about dating you. Before long, all of your prospects will be ruined.
Stay calm and do not take it personally. It is not you. You just aren’t the person she sees herself marrying or you are not what she wants at this stage of her life. Smile, relax and shrug it off.
3. Don’t Lie
Sometimes, guys (or girls) suggest remaining friends. If you weren’t friends before, there is no reason to be friends now. If you were friends before, be honest about whether you can stay friends or not. There is no reason to lie to her. If you cannot handle being friends with someone you would rather date, then just tell her that. If she is a kind, good person, then she will understand and not pressure you to be in a situation that would make you so unhappy.
4. Respond According to Her Response
If she is mean and cruel, then you are totally right to just walk away. You don’t have to (and shouldn’t) call her names or be mean in response. You should do your best to leave immediately though. Likewise, you should be kind and understanding if she is obviously uncomfortable and trying to be nice. Rejecting someone isn’t easy, so she might be awkward. Laugh it off and don’t make the situation worse. If she is trying to be nice in how she rejects you, don’t repay her by being a jerk.
5. Keep It Simple
If you are asking a friend out, you will obviously have a different approach than if you are picking up a woman in the bar. When you are trying to hit on a woman at a bar or someone you don’t really know, keep your response simple. Smile and say something like, “No worries, see you around,” or “Perhaps we’ll get a drink next time. Have a good day.”
You want to get out of that situation as gracefully and quickly as you can. This is especially true if you are at a bar or a club. There are other ladies that you might want to pick up, so you do not want your other options to see you as a sore loser or a jerk. Be kind and move on. If you are really lucky, a cute girl will have noticed the rejection and feel bad enough for you that she starts a conversation with you. Even if this does not happen, you want to make sure that you keep your other options open.
Should You Keep Trying?
The basic answer to this question is no. If you have asked her out or offered to buy a drink and she says no, listen to her. Most likely, she is not interested and continuing to hit on her will be perceived as harassment. At the very least, it will annoy her greatly and ruin any hopes you may have had.
There are some guys who continue hitting on uninterested women because pick-up artists tell them that this is just a “test” and they have to push through it. Don’t listen to them. Even if the woman is trying to test how interested you are in her, you shouldn’t continue. This is not the type of woman you want to sleep with or date because she is obviously manipulative. And, if she is telling the truth and isn’t interested, she is not going to be with you anyway. Shrug off the rejection, stay calm and move on.