You thought you had a great thing going and you decide to tell her how you feel. But instead of a huge smile, she gives you a sardonic grin and says “I just want to be friends.” Ouch! Welcome to the friend zone!
What’s the best thing to say now that she has clearly stated that she only wants to be your friend and nothing more?
1. “No worries, we’d definitely make good friends.”
Translation: Hello, friend!
This is the perfect response when you have zero feelings of bitterness about her wanting to be friends. Most of the time, a girl would tell you that she just wants to be friends when she knows you like her, but she doesn’t have the same feelings for you. By giving her this response, you’re genuinely accepting the idea of being friends. Just remember that with this response, you’re relinquishing all right to try and be more than just friends.
2. “Oh, well that’s pretty much what I wanted. So cool.”
Translation: Well, I don’t like you that much anyway.
It’s sour-graping at its finest, but she doesn’t have to know that unless she likes to excessively read into other people’s words. By saying this, you’re saying that you never wanted to be more than friends anyway, so why would she feel the need to tell you that she just wants to be friends? But in reality, it’s more like saying that you dislike being rejected (as is normal), but you want to save face by accepting her offer of friendship.
3. “I respect that.”
Translation: I respect your decision, but I don’t necessarily like it.
Take the good guy’s way out and respect her decision. It may feel terrible to know that she doesn’t like you as much as you like her, but you can take the moral high ground by respecting her decision. When you say this, there is no implication that you’re okay with just being friends. Instead, you’re just saying that you will respect her decision by not pushing the issue further, but you’re not completely okay with it.
4. “Can I ask why?”
Translation: Did I do something wrong?
When someone rejects your implied desire to be more than friends, there has to be a reason, right? More often than not the reason is actually pretty simple: she’s just not into you. However, if you feel like you had a good thing going and then she suddenly turns cold, you may want to know why. Keep in mind that she may not give you the real reason because it’s quite embarrassing to have to explain in. But if she’s the type to be blunt and honest about her feelings, she may give a reason that could ease your mind. Maybe she found someone else, maybe she’s not into guys, or maybe she’s just not looking to be in a relationship. Whatever reason she gives, the bottom line is that she just wants to be friends and you have to accept that.
5. “Maybe I can change your mind.”
Translation: I’ll do what it takes to change your mind.
This is a response you might say when you feel like you actually can change her mind. Bear in mind that this response can make you seem a little cocky. Why? Because she already said she just wants to be friends, and here you are telling her you have what it takes to change her mind. If you do know a way to make her change her mind (such as getting her that gift, showing your devotion to her, or just being the best boyfriend material a girl could ask for), then saying “Maybe I can change your mind” serves as an introduction into the ways you’ll get her to like you back. However, if she insists that there’s nothing you can do, it’s better to drop it than to risk being charged with being a creepy stalker.
6. “I can’t be just friends with you.”
Translation: I’m too in love with you to just be friends with you.
If you’ve got it bad for her and you can’t be around her without feeling the stabbing pain of not being her boyfriend, this is something you could say. She might get sad for a bit (if she genuinely wants to be friends) and ask why, and it’s up to you if you want to tell her the real reason. If you do tell her how hard it’s going to be for you to just be friends, who knows, it might convince her that you really do love and you really do deserve a chance to be with her. But remember, she might also be thankful that you’d leave her alone if she has been uncomfortable with your affection.
If there’s one thing to be learned from this experience, it’s this: even though she might not like you that way, she still wants you to be her friend. That probably means you’d make a great friend, right?