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What to Say When She Says “I Have a Boyfriend”

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We don’t all wear our relationship statuses on our sleeves, so it takes a little guesswork and more conversations to figure out if the person we’re talking to is already taken. For some girls, it’s hard to outright say no to a guy without making him even more adamant to pursue her (thanks for that, unrealistic rom-coms). So for them, the best response would be to say that she has a boyfriend in the hope that the guy would back off.

when a woman says she has a boyfriend

So when you’re talking to a girl and she tells you that she has a boyfriend, these responses might help.

When you really just want to be friends

In this scenario, you’re genuinely no interested in romantically pursuing her :

 

“Okay, that’s cool.” When you want to be friends (genuine friends!) with a girl, it shouldn’t matter if she has a boyfriend or not. It’s not like you’re trying to take his place, right? So when she tells you that she has a boyfriend, play it cool and still try to pursue a friendship with her. But remember, if she says this in a defensive way, it’s best to clarify that you’re not hitting on her so that she knows that you have no intentions of taking her away from her boyfriend.

“Awesome. I have a girlfriend too!” Ease her mind by telling her that you have a girlfriend. This might just be enough to clarify to her that you have no intentions of pursuing anything romantic with her. However, make sure that you make it obvious that you love your girlfriend by casually mentioning her in future conversations too. Some girls might take this response to mean that you’re mentioning your girlfriend to make it seem like you’re on the same boat if you do decide to cheat with each other.

“Oh, say hi to him for me.” Make her feel at ease that you’re not interested in her that way by directly acknowledging the presence of a boyfriend in her life. This response could be enough to ease her mind and make her realize that you’re not hitting on her in any way. Who knows, you might even suddenly become good friends with her guy!

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“I’m not trying to hit on you.” For many women, saying “I have a boyfriend” is an indirect way of saying “I know you’re interested in me, but I’m not interested.” In other cases, it’s an ego-boosting move that makes her feel good when she has the option to reject a guy. To clear the air between you, make it clear that you’re not hitting on her. To further reinforce this, make sure you mention exactly why you’re talking to her such as needing her participation in a group project or just talking to her because you’re in the same class.

if a girl says she has a boyfriend is that total rejection

When you want to be more than friends

This is what you say when you’re into a girl and she tells you that she has a boyfriend:

[More : How to Get a Girl to Like You when She Has a Boyfriend]

“Oh, sorry about that. I thought you were single.” Don’t push the subject when a girl says she has a boyfriend. For many women, saying no isn’t convincing enough, especially when guys try to insist on buying her a drink. Her best bet is often to say that she has a boyfriend so that guys would just leave her alone. If you genuinely thought she was single, apologize and tell her that you thought she was single. This might help clear any future awkwardness between you two.

“Hmmm. How serious are you guys?” If you have no qualms about breaking up a seemingly happy couple, this is what you can say. However, be prepared for a response along the lines of “leave me alone!” This response gets you a 50/50 chance of getting the girl because she might genuinely be willing to have a dalliance with you or she might think you’re an immoral creep who can’t take a hint.

“I’ll leave you to it for now. But I hope you remember me when you’re single.” When you realize that there’s nothing you can do for now, you can always mention that you’re willing to wait around for her. Who knows, she might see this is a good thing because it shows how patient you are. Just remember not wait around for her like some sort of creep! Genuinely wait for her while you can, but don’t go asking for updates every week on whether or not they’ve broken up!

“I don’t mind.” Now this is a response that takes guts! When you genuinely don’t care that she has a guy and you think she might consider cheating, this response could prove to be effective. On the other hand, it’s also very likely that she won’t take kindly to your response, and thus ignore you. This would lessen your chances of ever getting with her!

Never be caught off-guard when she says she has a boyfriend by remembering these responses.



120 COMMENTS

  1. Comment:admin,i av been dating a girl for 4yrs plus and we love ourselves bt my mum is somehow strict and she said,she dont want ne again nw.i have plead with her,beg her coz i want 2 marry her bt she said my mum don’t lyk nd want her.and my mum is nt a kind of person i can just talk to lyk dat,she has dis habit of i knw everything dat is good and correct

    • In time, you may find that your mother’s wisdom is based off of her experiences, and not your own. Determine what you believe is what you want for your future. If you live with your mother, then you should follow her directions regarding your relationships. If you are living on your own, then determine what you want for your future. Take whichever action you believe is appropriate. Have a great day, Adexvilla!

  2. there’s this girl I’ve been. dating for the past 7yrs she always call her ex’s they chat nicely but anytime i start a conversation with her,she get rude towards me she even went sleeping with some of them.when I tried to end the relationship with her she cries and says it won’t happen again but still doing it. but my biggest worry is we have a kid what should I do?

    • Your partner has chosen to cheat on you and emotionally abuse you. She continues to speak with her exes. Her behaviors are inappropriate, as she has proven that she is willing to sleep with her exes. You have a child, so you will need to determine what you want for your future. Speak with your partner about your thoughts and feelings, and explain that you are maintaining this relationship for your child. If you can not trust your partner to stop abusing and neglecting you, then end this relationship and attempt to gain custody of your child. Have a great day, Carl!

  3. I have a girlfriend which we take longtime in love, but now I no more love her,what would I do to restore her love if I don’t want to leave her.

    • You believe that you have fell out of love with your partner, but you want to continue to maintain this relationship. There are many ways to nourish this relationship. Spend additional time with your partner in person, as this will strengthen your relationship. Allow thoughts and interactions with other women to fade, as this will focus your thoughts on your partner. Perhaps speak with your girlfriend about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Daha!

  4. There is this girl that I like so much the way she looks at me is as if she likes me,she is always shy when she looks at me and when I approached her she told me she already has a boyfriend and I don’t know what to do

    • You are aware that she has a boyfriend. This may be a reason for her actions. Do not attempt to harm their relationship, as there is no benefit to be gained by causing others to suffer. If her relationship naturally ends and she reaches out to you, then share your thoughts and feelings with her. For now, simply share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Joseph!

  5. Hello admin I have been in a relationship with particular girl up to 7years now when we started dating she is everything I have ever wanted my intention now is to get married to but recently her behaviour towards me have changed. She is well known in my family but recently my family members do see are on different occasions with some guys, She always choose are friends over me now, she lies about her where about her love for materials things have grown beyond measures. The trust for her is no longer there each time I remember lies she have told me, thou I still Luv her but anything she does now do upset me. how do I clear those thought of my head and how do I make her realizes she is hurting

    • She has lied to you often. This behavior is a sign that she is not interested in respecting your relationship. It is possible that she is lying about more serious actions. Your family is aware of her behaviors. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Strengthen your relationships with your family and friends. Have a great day, Kenel!

  6. Comment: Simply give her an excuse for what she will say in the future by telling her that “Girls say I have a boyfriend just to scare guys aware, and that you know how it works” by saying this believe me even if she has a boyfriend, when she’ll start liking you and you eventually win her over, she will be like you were “right from for beginning, I just wanted to scare you away, but thanks for sticking around meanwhile she was actually in a relationship.

    I hope this helps

    • Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. We always appreciate when members of our community share their thoughts and feelings. Different people have different ways to express themselves. It is important to trust and respect the people who we choose to allow into our lives. Have a great day, Aggripa!

  7. There is a luv she always tell me DAT she a boyfrd but if c her she use an hour when where talking wht can I do I luv d girl

    • If she has told you that she has a boyfriend, then she is in a relationship. If she is not in a relationship, then she has shared her position. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with her, but do not attempt to harm her relationship. If she reaches out to you in the future and wants to develop a relationship with you, then share your thoughts and feelings with her at this time. Have a great day, Ifedayo!

    • You feel a strong emotional connection for this person and you are aware that she share similar feelings for you. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. Attempt to spend additional time with her in person, as this will strengthen your relationship. Have a great day, Alvinnx!

    • You shared your thoughts and feelings with her. She responded by sharing herself with you as well. She is not interested in maintaining a romantic relationship with you. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with her. Perhaps attempt to spend additional time with her in person, as this will strengthen your relationship. Have a great day, Femi!

    • There is no benefit in getting upset when someone shares their thoughts and feelings with you. Just because you are ready to maintain a relationship with someone, does not mean that person feels the same for you. You will find benefit in sharing your kindness, compassion, and respect with everyone in your life. You can strengthen any relationship by spending additional time with your partner. Have a great day, Steve!

  8. Comment::I keep thinking about this girl everyday by day I approach her by telling her how I feel that I want us to be in a serious relationship… but she said she have a boyfriend… that she don’t mind us being a tight friend… so I play along talking to her most time she came to my office to see me .. and we talk for hours. . I no she likes me .. her visiting nowadays it makes us get more stronger as friend I don’t know .. but I told her from the start that I don’t accept being friend that I know want I want … but after telling her that I don’t bring any issues of being her boyfriend… I think now that we’re more close and she’s free with me .. body contact is now coming up it now like I’m the one dulling. . I just don’t know what to do please tell me something

    • She has shared her thoughts and feelings. She is in a relationship. Do not attempt to nourish a romantic relationship with her at this time. Share your kindness and compassion with her. If her current relationships and she reaches out to you, then attempt to nourish a relationship with her at that time. Have a great day, Niyi!

    • All you can do is wait for her relationship to end. Think of it this way: If you were to get her to leave or cheat on her boyfriend, you’d never be sure that she wouldn’t do the same to you. The best thing you can do is just stay casual friends and then make a move when she is single again. Good luck, David Norkuri!

  9. I know it may sound weird, but am finding it difficult to ask a girl out, they come around lots of them, and all we do as in each of them is chat, see sometimes and discuss, but I’ve not got the guts to ask any of them out and at a certain time we don’t just communicate anylonger probably because she was waiting for the big question, (I don’t know) and am not happy about it, am a student on campus and I don’t wanna miss out the fun of dating before I graduate. I’ve not dated before. Not just the fun of dating, I want to be in a relationship, a nice and healthy one.
    Please tell me how to ask a girl out on a date and probably what to discuss incase she eventually agrees to go out with me ➕ where we could go, aside nice restraunts.
    Your reply will be very needful. Thanks

    • Your guess about why the girls disappear is probably right–they are most likely hoping that you will make a move and eventually leave when it doesn’t happen. If you are chatting online, you could just ask them out that way–it is a lot less stress than asking in person. Plus, you already know that the girls will eventually leave if you don’t ask them out, so there really isn’t any risk. If you are wrong about her feelings and she disappears, you are no worse off than you would have been anyway. There is no magic trick to asking a girl on a date–you just have to do it! If she likes you, she will be too nervous to even notice how awkward or nervous you are. Plus, the awkwardness can be incredibly endearing. Other than nice restaurants, you can try a date like hiking, painting pottery together, going to a fair, go-kart racing or something else creative. Once you are on a date, try asking her questions about herself. People like talking about themselves, and she will be happy that you are so interested in what she thinks (plus, you won’t have to keep the conversation going yourself). Ask her about her dreams, her favorite hobbies, where she grew up and what she does in her free time. Good luck, Bob!

    • All you can do is wait and hope the relationship ends sooner rather than later. Even if you made a move now and she started dating you, you would always wonder if she would leave you or have an affair like she did with her last boyfriend. Plus, when you love someone, you want them to be happy. If she is happy in her current relationship, don’t rock the boat. If she is single at some point in the future, then you can try making a move and see where things go from there. Good luck, Bright!

  10. Well i had a crush on a girl, I loved so much, we’ve known each other for about couple of months now, but she does not love me, and only wants me us a friend what do I do..

    • Unfortunately, there is no way to make someone like you. All you can do is wait and hope. If you cannot handle being friends with her without dating her, that is perfectly fine and normal. For the moment, the best thing you can do is move on because you have no way of knowing if she will ever develop feelings for you. Good luck, Anthony!

  11. Comment: well I had a crush on a girl who I love, we knew each other for some months, but she does not love me only want my friendship, what do I do…

    • It seems like you may have commented twice on this one. I have to answer each comment individually, so it sometimes takes a bit for me to reply. If you do not see a response right away, don’t worry because you will! Read through my first response and let me know if you have any other questions. Thanks for commenting!

  12. There is dis girl, I’m into her but we started being friend so after some number of days u asked her out and she said she had a bf. I told her it’s okay but I still maintained friendship with her and tried again but she also declined. so while still maintaining my friend dship with her she suddenly start telling me she likes me now and drastically start showing interest to me. j don’t know what to do and i still have this feelings for her

    • You have shared your thoughts and feelings with her. When you did so, you were informed that she has a partner. She has noticed that her feelings for you have grown and have shared that information with you. However, she is still in a relationship. Do not attempt to establish a romantic relationship with her if she is currently in a relationship. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with her. Have a great day, Iyanu!

  13. there’s a girl I really love but she told me she’s in a relationship but she told me that alot of people around her has told her the relationship wouldn’t work out and I also know the dude she’s dating. he has a daughter with a lady and he’s in a serious relationship with another at the moment… I didn’t tell her to quit nor try to convince her about the dude but she told me to give her time to decide and we should be close friends for the time being.. I have this insight she is afraid of letting go because she’s having a fear factor,like the guy will do this or that to her.. she’s being misled but I noticed she does like me and gives me alot of attention but I think I’m running out of time waiting.. what should I do please

    • She is currently in a relationship. She has shared her thoughts and feelings with you. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with her. Do not attempt to harm their relationship, as it will bring you benefit. If their relationship naturally ends, then you may find benefit in spending additional time with her in person. Have a great day, Ishola!

  14. I love a girl but I’m shy of telling her bcs I’m a fanmilk vendor but I can afford what she want and I’m still contemplating if she would not insult me bcs i dislike disgrace pls what will I do to make her mine?

    • You are interested in developing a relationship with her. Do not allow the chance of rejection prevent you from nourishing this relationship. You may find benefit in spending additional time with her in person. This will decrease the chance that she will not want to develop a relationship, as it will help strengthen your connection. Have a great day, John!

  15. i have a girl friend who i thinks she loves me so much but because i was not providing her what she wants, then she fell in love with somone else and claimed she had no choice because she needs some cash too..though,she calls me most times and still give me so much confident that she is gonna come back to me. and now, because i love her. i dont wana leave her but it still looks irritating to me thinking she is having sex with these person..i love my girl friend but am just so confuse.please i need some advice

    • Your girlfriend has cheated on you. She is no longer interested in nourishing a relationship with you. She mentioned money, which likely means she views sexual relationships similar to financial relationships. Allow this relationship to fade. Determine what kind of relationship you want to nourish in the future. Have a great day, Olaiya!

  16. Comment:There’s a girl have been dating before I gained admission but after that, things turned upside down we no longer talk nor chat….But now she’s now in school and I tried to make things back to normal but it’s not working out….I even asked her that “is she dating another guy before but she said out of box”…. she just wanna see me so that we can settle the issue once and for all…..em just afraid if she’s gonna love me the way she loved me then…..

    • She said that she wanted to see you to settle your confusion. Her statement and behaviors are indications that she is not able to maintain a relationship with you at this time. This is normal for long distance relationships. It is also possible that she is interested in strengthening your relationship by attempting to spend additional time with you in person. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Decide what you believe is viable. Speak with your partner about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Abiola!

  17. There’s this girl I love so much, I hv told her thAt I want her in date but she told me that she has boyfriend but verified that she is not happy in the relationship which she accepted me but after one week she traveled, she stop picking my calls, even the phone she is using I was the one that bought it for her which she later broke the screen and I gave her mine which she used to travel, so what will do if she returns back because I love her so much.

    • She is a relationship, but is not happy with it at this time. Do not attempt to damage her relationship. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with her. If she decides to end her relationship, then share your thoughts and feelings with her at that time. For now, ,share your positive energy with the world as this will bring you great benefits. Have a great day, Clark!

  18. I have this girl I have a big crush on and she said she has a boyfriend whom she love what should I really do should I wait or give up

    • She has informed you that she has a partner. She is not interested in nourishing a relationship with you. Do not attempt to harm her relationship. Determine what you want for your future without her. If her relationship ends and she reaches out to you, then share your thoughts and feelings with her at that time. Ensure that you always share your kindness and compassion. Have a great day, Voltage!

  19. Comment:Good morning. i fear in love with a girl since my year one in school, i realy love this girl with all my hearts that i can’t spend an hour without thinking of her, from my observations i noticed that she love me all so, she did all her posible best to became my friend but the problems is that when am with her i feel confused and shy, i think what is hindring me it is because of her’s updates on facebook she always critizes sex and always talked about repentants am afread she would said no or she will start preaching to me. now we are in 3level i have been trying all my posible best to forget her but i am unable.

    plz what should do

    • You are aware of her feelings regarding sex. Determine what you want for your future. Decide what type of relationship you want to nourish. If you want to maintain a relationship with her, then spend additional time with her in person. Share your thoughts and feelings with her. Ensure that she shares her thoughts and feelings with you as well. Have a great day, Moses!

  20. Comment:theres is this girl I love so much, she is my heart code. but I feel irritated anytime she is talking to me on phone call, she has this big voice and it’s not encouraging when ever we talk and this is making me not be calling her as often ,and am loosing my relationship because of this. what should I do

    • You are aware that you do not like speaking with her on the phone. This is for a variety of reasons, though it is certain that there are people that do not feel the same as you. You will find benefit in being more attentive during phone conversations. Spend additional time with her in person, as this will ensure that your relationship is strengthened. If your feelings continue, then share your thoughts and feelings with her. Have a great day, James!

  21. There’s this girl i like, i asked her out and requested for her Tel no, she didn’t give it to me but requested for my Tel No and told me she will call but she never did. should I try again when I see her again or should I move on? I’m confused though i like her

    • You have shared your thoughts and feelings with you. You gave her your information. She chosen not to attempt to reach out to you. Give her an opportunity to do so. If she does not, then allow thoughts of her to fade. You may want to spend additional time with her in person, as this will strengthen your relationship. Determine what you believe is appropriate. Have a great day, Ehi!

  22. there is a girl I have a crush on, I spoke with her and requested for her number but she said she’ll rather have my number and that she would call me but she never did. I like her but I don’t know if I should speak with her again please I need your advice on what to do

    • You have shared your thoughts and feelings with you. You gave her your information. She chosen not to attempt to reach out to you. Give her an opportunity to do so. If she does not, then allow thoughts of her to fade. You may want to spend additional time with her in person, as this will strengthen your relationship. Determine what you believe is appropriate. Have a great day, Afor!

  23. I have a girlfriend ND we’ve been dating for like 2yrs now, she recently cheated on me and broke up with me. 3mths later, she came back to me and pleaded that we shud come back, meanwhile; I truly love her….. What should I do?

    • She has cheated on you and the two of you decided to end that relationship. Determine what you want for your future. Decide what type of person you want to nourish a relationship with. Speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. You may want to allow thoughts of her to fade. Perhaps there is someone in your life that you feel as strong emotional connection with. Have a great day, Felicity!

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