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What to Say When She Says “I Have a Boyfriend”

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We don’t all wear our relationship statuses on our sleeves, so it takes a little guesswork and more conversations to figure out if the person we’re talking to is already taken. For some girls, it’s hard to outright say no to a guy without making him even more adamant to pursue her (thanks for that, unrealistic rom-coms). So for them, the best response would be to say that she has a boyfriend in the hope that the guy would back off.

when a woman says she has a boyfriend

So when you’re talking to a girl and she tells you that she has a boyfriend, these responses might help.

When you really just want to be friends

In this scenario, you’re genuinely no interested in romantically pursuing her :

 

“Okay, that’s cool.” When you want to be friends (genuine friends!) with a girl, it shouldn’t matter if she has a boyfriend or not. It’s not like you’re trying to take his place, right? So when she tells you that she has a boyfriend, play it cool and still try to pursue a friendship with her. But remember, if she says this in a defensive way, it’s best to clarify that you’re not hitting on her so that she knows that you have no intentions of taking her away from her boyfriend.

“Awesome. I have a girlfriend too!” Ease her mind by telling her that you have a girlfriend. This might just be enough to clarify to her that you have no intentions of pursuing anything romantic with her. However, make sure that you make it obvious that you love your girlfriend by casually mentioning her in future conversations too. Some girls might take this response to mean that you’re mentioning your girlfriend to make it seem like you’re on the same boat if you do decide to cheat with each other.

“Oh, say hi to him for me.” Make her feel at ease that you’re not interested in her that way by directly acknowledging the presence of a boyfriend in her life. This response could be enough to ease her mind and make her realize that you’re not hitting on her in any way. Who knows, you might even suddenly become good friends with her guy!

“I’m not trying to hit on you.” For many women, saying “I have a boyfriend” is an indirect way of saying “I know you’re interested in me, but I’m not interested.” In other cases, it’s an ego-boosting move that makes her feel good when she has the option to reject a guy. To clear the air between you, make it clear that you’re not hitting on her. To further reinforce this, make sure you mention exactly why you’re talking to her such as needing her participation in a group project or just talking to her because you’re in the same class.

if a girl says she has a boyfriend is that total rejection

When you want to be more than friends

This is what you say when you’re into a girl and she tells you that she has a boyfriend:

[More : How to Get a Girl to Like You when She Has a Boyfriend]

“Oh, sorry about that. I thought you were single.” Don’t push the subject when a girl says she has a boyfriend. For many women, saying no isn’t convincing enough, especially when guys try to insist on buying her a drink. Her best bet is often to say that she has a boyfriend so that guys would just leave her alone. If you genuinely thought she was single, apologize and tell her that you thought she was single. This might help clear any future awkwardness between you two.

“Hmmm. How serious are you guys?” If you have no qualms about breaking up a seemingly happy couple, this is what you can say. However, be prepared for a response along the lines of “leave me alone!” This response gets you a 50/50 chance of getting the girl because she might genuinely be willing to have a dalliance with you or she might think you’re an immoral creep who can’t take a hint.

“I’ll leave you to it for now. But I hope you remember me when you’re single.” When you realize that there’s nothing you can do for now, you can always mention that you’re willing to wait around for her. Who knows, she might see this is a good thing because it shows how patient you are. Just remember not wait around for her like some sort of creep! Genuinely wait for her while you can, but don’t go asking for updates every week on whether or not they’ve broken up!

“I don’t mind.” Now this is a response that takes guts! When you genuinely don’t care that she has a guy and you think she might consider cheating, this response could prove to be effective. On the other hand, it’s also very likely that she won’t take kindly to your response, and thus ignore you. This would lessen your chances of ever getting with her!

Never be caught off-guard when she says she has a boyfriend by remembering these responses.

210 COMMENTS

    • I wouldn’t do that if I were you. If you convince her to break up with her boyfriend for her, then you can never have a good relationship with her. You would always have to worry that she would just break up with you for another guy in the same exact way. The only thing you can really do is be her friend and wait until she is single to make a move. Good luck, Lucky!

  1. i have this girl in my church she says she isnt interested in me on texts and when i call her she cant evn say a word that she doesnt like me she talks soft and says she is still thinking so what should i do

    l

    • I would listen to her. It is easier to be honest in texts. On the phone, it sounds like she is trying to let you down easy without being mean and rejecting you completely. While her feelings could always change in the future, you should stop pressuring her now and let it go.

  2. Comment: I met a girl for a period of time although she told me she actually has a boyfriend but she didn’t want me to go since she and her boyfriend were not in good terms , she called ,text ,cares and all. she do confirm to the fact that she loves me too..All of a sudden her bf noticed and step upped and since then she started giving me attitude and I had to confront her and she told me she isn’t sure that things we work out with us that things are tight now BTW her and her bf that I should just try to limit everything about her. I told her we can be friends tho, but the friendship as been awkward and now am so confused if to continue been a very caring friend or to just give her a long term space..please what should I do

    • I would move on. If you care about her, then give her a chance to work on the relationship she wants. Also, if she were to leave him for you, then you’d always be afraid that she would just do the same thing to you later on. It might be incredibly hard, but you should probably just take a step back and move on. If you really want to, you can try being friends, but it’ll be incredibly hard to do since you still have feelings for her.

  3. Comment:there is a girl I meet and I love her so much and I approach her and she is still a small girl any way but when I approach her she told me that there’s many guys disturbing her for friendship and she’s confused about it, but she accepted me but I don’t know if she really love me or cheating on me because I hate cheating, am jealous. and she feel it difficult to say she love me if I ask her she will say she’s shy pls help I don’t know what to do to turn her mind out of others to convince her to love me the way I want pls help

    • You can’t force someone to love you. She said that she is shy, so it may just be hard for her to speak her mind and to tell you how she feels. Give it time and be patient. As she becomes more comfortable with you, it will be easier for her to relax and open up. Good luck, Chiagozie!

    • If you love her, you will do what’s best for her. She wants to focus on her relationship, so let her focus on her current relationship. Plus, if you successfully got her to break up with her boyfriend, you’d have to spend your entire relationship afraid that she would just do the same thing again to you.

  4. I was asking a lady to be my girlfriend, but she insisted that she has a boyfriend, but I can’t be waiting for that, because I really love her so much.
    And I have been trying to woo her, but all to no avail…
    please help me out….

    • Nothing you have done has wooed her so far, so this is definitely a good time to stop trying. She has a boyfriend, so respect that fact and stop trying to date her. Even if she left her boyfriend, you’d have to always worry that she would just end up doing the same thing to you. If she is single at some point in the future, you can try dating her again.

    • If someone has a boyfriend, you should leave her alone. If you got her to leave her boyfriend for you, then you’d have to constantly worry that she’d just do the same thing to you in the future. Plus, if you really care for someone, you should want them to be happy and listen to them.

  5. I have this girl whom I love too much. But she told me she is dating. I have said everything to her in other to fall for me but she keeps on saying she has a boyfriend and asked me what she should do now

    • You should respect her relationship. If she leaves her boyfriend for you, you’ll have to wonder for your entire relationship if she’ll leave you for another guy too. Also, if you really care for her, you’ll want her to be happy. Struggling to decide between two guys and having a secret affair or flirtation isn’t real happiness. Take a step back and wait. If she wasn’t meant to be with the boyfriend, their relationship will end and you’ll get your chance anyway. Good luck!

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