It happens- Every so often you might hear your girlfriend name drop her ex. And although you aren’t his biggest fan, you understand it’s only natural that once in awhile his name is going to pop up in conversation. Especially if they had a long term relationship. Yes, it sucks, but it happens… Every once in awhile. But what are you supposed to do when his name keeps coming up… and coming up… and coming up? By now you are so sick of hearing it, you’re about ready to put your hand over her mouth every time she sounds out the letter of his first name. We feel you, bud. We understand this can be frustrating. What does it mean that she can’t stop talking about him? And, more importantly, what are you supposed to do about it?
This is definitely a tricky situation if there ever was one. You don’t want to risk upsetting your girlfriend by saying the wrong thing, but you also feel as if you can’t just let it keep happening.
Very tricky indeed.
But it really isn’t worth stressing yourself out too much. There is a proper way to go about this. And we know just what that way is. But first, let’s go over the why of the situation. To respond to her always name dropping her ex, you must first understand why she is doing so in the first place.
So, let’s get started-
Why She’s Bringing Up Her Ex:
She’s Comparing The Two Of You:
Now wait, before you get mad, let’s discuss this. You might think that her always comparing you to her ex is a bad thing. But, in reality, it’s really not. When we first start dating someone new, we tend to compare our old partners to our new ones. Not always in a negative manner either. She might be saying, “My ex used to complain about scary movies. I’m so glad you don’t.”
Or something along those lines. So be sure to be really listening to what she’s saying when she says his name.
She Had A Bad Previous Relationship:
She might just need to vent to you about somethings that happened to her in her past. How rude her boyfriend was or even abusive. Just because she is bringing up her ex, doesn’t mean she’s shedding a positive light on him. It might feel good for her to open up about her past with you. You just might not realize that’s what she’s doing.
She’s Warning You:
When your girlfriend brings up her ex, she might be mentioning things that she hated about him. The things he did and what she didn’t enjoy about him as a person. This is her way of warning you what she does and doesn’t like. What she will and will not tolerate in a relationship. So again, it’s important to pay attention.
She Still Has To Deal With Him:
Do your girlfriend and her ex still hang out in the same social circles? Does she work with him? If so, then duh you’re going to hear about him. Let’s not be naive, ok?
She Is Still In Love With Him:
Now, we put this one last because we did not want to freak you out right away. But let’s be real shall we? Of course there are times when a girlfriend might bring up her ex because she’s still in love with him. Is this the most common reason? Most definitely not. So don’t worry too much about it. However, this one comes with pretty obvious signs. Mainly she will talk about things she misses about him, how good he was to her, etc. When she is constantly shedding a positive light on him without regard to your feelings, that’s when we suggest you start to worry.
What To Say:
Now that you know why she might be bringing up her ex, let’s talk about what you can do about it.
If it really bothers you, you should have the right to let her know, right? Right!
But how do you do that?
Just Tell Her How You Feel:
In any relationship you should feel comfortable enough with each other to tell one another how you feel about things. Of course, you want to go about this a little gently. You don’t want to start a fight or create tension. So keep it simple.
I.E: “Babe, I don’t mind listening to you talk about your past, but it does bother me a little to hear you ex’s name so much. Do you think we could maybe just avoid that subject for awhile?”
Talk About Your Ex:
Or, if you don’t think that will work, you can give her a taste of her own medicine. Mirror her behavior and start talking about your ex the way that she talks about hers. Don’t be overly blunt about it, but just do it casually. She will start to understand how you feel and hopefully that puts an end to that!