There’s nothing more nerve wracking than the aftermath of a first date. Did it go well? Was it a disaster? What do you do next? How are you supposed to text her when it’s over? What should you even say!?
Hold your horses, buddy. There is absolutely no reason to panic.
The first thing that you need to do is take a deep breath and read the following article to help you know what to do and what to text after a first date.
When Is A Good Time To Text Her?
One of your main issues here might be that you are uncertain about when you should send the first text after the date. This is often a common situation found when men are nervous about texting women. They just don’t know when is the right time. That’s more than okay, sometimes we just don’t know what to do!
That’s why we are here to help you with that a little bit.
There is a general rule of thumb about texting girls after that exciting time you spent together.
You want to wait at least 3 hours minimum. That way you don’t seem too desperate.
Texting her right away is definitely a risky move. That’s because it makes you come off as a busybody with no life.
Make it appear as if you ran a few errands or at least took a shower and watched a movie, before texting her.
3 hours is perfect. It says that you went and did your own thing, but once that was completed she was right back on your mind!
Waiting too long might lead her to believe that you didn’t have a good time and that you just aren’t that interested by her.
We suggest not waiting more than 12 hours maximum. Even that is pushing it.
Playing hard to get is a good idea, but you don’t want to play too hard to get or she might lose interest in the whole thing.
She’s going to want to hear from you shortly if she had a good time.
If she didn’t have a good time, she couldn’t care less if you ever text her again. But we will get to that later.
What Should You Do If She Doesn’t Respond Immediately?
Well, don’t take it too hard. You still have time.
Just because she didn’t get back to you right away, doesn’t mean that she does not like you or that she did not have a good time.
It could just mean that she is busy or even sleeping.
You should allow her a time frame of 12 hours to get back to you after the first date before declaring all hope lost.
After that 12 hours has gone by, you can then send a second text to make sure that she doesn’t want to talk to you.
If she does not get back to you after the second text within another 12 hours, we can safely say it’s okay to move on.
Don’t get too down on yourself, though, not all first dates go as we want them to.
What Should You Say When You Text Her?
Alright, so you finally had the first date. Now it’s over and of course, you’re left in shambles because you have the urge to text her, but you are not sure what to say to her at this point. Especially if you are not quite certain how she felt about the date.
So what you need to do is recap the date. Where did you take her? Was it the right atmosphere? Did you you leave the date satisfied? Did she?
These are all crucial things to consider when deciding what to say to her in that post first date text message.
Why should you be thinking of these types of things? Because it’s going to be the base for what you are going to say to her.
Let’s say that the date went horribly wrong, in your opinion, and she was left unhappy by the end of it. If you were not happy with the turnout, she probably was not quite enthralled either.
That means that you should be texting her in a saddened manner, apologizing for the way that things worked out.
“Hey Sarah, sorry the date was that great, but I still had a fantastic time with you. Hope you will let me make it up to you with date number 2.”
This is a great way for you to ask her on a second date, but also a great way to apologize for giving her a crappy first one.
Or if the date went really great and the two of you really hit it off you can say something different.
“Hey Sarah! I had such a fantastic time with you last night, I can’t wait to do it again. I hope we can have another fantastic date pretty soon here!”
Now you are emphasizing how happy you were with the date, but still asking her out on a second one.
Yup, you can ask her out on a second date, subtly, with the first post date text message.
Now, this is not a route that everyone wants to take. Because there is a small chance you might come off as desperate if you ask her on that second date. But that is up to you decide whether you want to do it that way or not.
No matter which route you choose to go you will always want to make sure that you thank her for showing you a good time. It isn’t important to her whether or not she showed you a good time at this point. She is going to want to hear that you enjoyed spending time with her. Really point out that she was such a treat to be with. That you really like the presence of her company.
Women like to hear that kind of stuff, to help build up their confidence after a first date. There is a chance that she isn’t sure it went well. Just as you might be afraid things did not go as smoothly as you would have liked. It will also allow you to create a path to a desired second date.
Now that you have incorporated something about her being a great person to hang out with, it’s time to move on to asking her how she enjoyed the date.
Because of course, if she didn’t like it, there is no point in trying to reach out for a second date at all.
You want to truly get her feelings on this.
Although you may not want to ask her in the first text, be sure to ask her within the first five after the first date.
“Sarah, I hope you had as good of a time as I did last night.”
“Did you have a good time the other day? Maybe we can do it again sometime.”
This not only opens up a pathway for her to let you know how she felt about the date, but it also gives her an idea that you actually care about how she feels in general!
Make sure to ask her how she is feeling within the first few texts.
“Hey, Sarah how are you today?”
“How’s it going?”
Simple, but effective in letting her know that you care about what is going on in her mind. She’s definitely going to appreciate it, we promise.
After the first date, focus on her as much as you can.
Keep the conversation flowing by talking about the date.
“I really loved the steak they had at the restaurant! How did you like your meal? Would you want to go back there again?”
This gives you the opportunity to figure out what types of things she likes and if you hit the spot when you planned your first date. It may even give you some insight into how to plan out your second date, if there is ever one.
Now that you have gotten the first few things out of the way, you can move on to the next phase.
What phase might that be? Buttering her up A.K.A flirting with her.
You have gotten to see how she felt about the date and hopefully you have been able to tell her how you felt about it as well.
You can move into preparing for the second date.
How do you do that?
Flattery is everything, bud!
Flatter, flatter, flatter until your little heart (or fingers, since you are texting) can’t flatter any longer!
But keep it P.G. The last thing that you would want to do is creep her out and blow all your chances with her.
“You looked so pretty the other day I cannot stop thinking about it.”
“Damn girl your boobs look banging last night.”
Seriously, don’t say that. There will definitely not be a second date if you say those types of things. You’re trying to woo her romantically, right? Not ask her to star in a porno.
You could also say something like:
“I never would have guessed you had such amazing intellect. You really showed me your true intelligence the other night at dinner.”
Do not say:
“You smart, I dig it.”
This is the most crucial time to show her that you really liked her. You want to sound intelligent, use proper grammar and come off as charming.
What if you are not great with grammar and spelling? Use your autocorrect, because that is definitely what it was made for.
Not sure you are saying the right things?
Ask a friend that’s a girl to proofread your messages beforehand!
A guy friend might do, too, if you trust his abilities to pick out mistakes and grotesque comments.
Flirting will make it much easier to ask her out again.
Make sure to keep in contact with her all the way up until the second date.
In the mornings send her a sweet good morning text.
“Good morning beautiful, I dreamt about your lovely face last night.”
“Good morning gorgeous, I hope you slept well.”
These texts let you two start conversation early and continue it all through the day.
Do no text her constantly. Also avoid sending doubles if she doesn’t respond right away. This comes off as totally desperate. Instead, only send a text when she has sent one to you. This makes it look like you can be patient and that you are always waiting for her to say something, because you enjoy her side of the conversation.
You don’t want to get gross, save the naughty stuff until much later.
Unless she initiates it. Then it would be okay for you to sext with her.
Sexting with her or sending dirty texts or nasty pickup lines might ruin any thoughts of a second date with her, unless she is the one who decides she wants those types of messages from you.
Now you have all the information you need on what to text a girl after a first date!