It’s the age-old story. When you’re finally over a guy, he’s back with a vengeance and determined to win your heart again. It’s easy to think that things will be different this time, but if he’s doing the same thing over and over again, it might be time to think of whether or not he’s worth your time.
Here’s what you should do when a guy keeps appearing and disappearing from your life.
See why he’s suddenly in your life again. When a guy suddenly comes back into your life out of the blue, try to find out the reason for this. With social media on your side, you can easily check out what he has been up to before he showed up again. For one, some guys like to go back to old flames when their previous relationship has fallen apart. In other cases, he might suddenly come back into your life because he’s in town for a bit and would like to get lucky with someone familiar. He might even figure out that you’re now single, and would like to try dating you again.
When you have some idea of why he’s suddenly back in touch, it can give you clues as to what he’s after, which leads us to the next point…
See what he wants. What does he expect to get out of being in touch with you again? In some cases, he might just feel like talking to an old friend. However, it can also be the case that he just wants to have a short-time fling before he disappears into thin air again. Allow yourself to respond to him and see if what he wants aligns with what you want.
Play a little hard to get. Naturally, you can’t act like a girl who would fall head over heels over him again the minute his name pops up on your phone. Allow yourself to be just a little coy, and don’t be too eager to jump into the sack with him again. Don’t be too eager to reply, and don’t agree to go home with him after your first date after so many years (unless that’s actually what you want out of him).
When you’re too available, it gives him the idea that you’re okay with the whole scenario of him showing up and then disappearing without regard for what you want. See what he’s willing to do for you to check if he’s going to stick around this time or leave you to your own devices just when you’re suddenly investing emotions in him again. If he seems like he’s willing to stick around for you even if you reject some of his advances, then it can point to him wanting to stick around. On the other hand, if he seems to give up easily, then it’s safe to say that he’s not in this for the long haul.
Check your priorities. Be realistic about what you expect from your little dalliance with him. Look back at how your relationship has gone in the past. Perhaps by some twist of fate, you were destined to be apart because of things you can’t control (work, family issues, other priorities, etc.). If this is the case, take a look at what has changed between those past few times and now. Are things different? Is he a different man? Has he matured? If nothing has changed, then it’s very likely that he’s just in this for a good time before he packs up and leaves again. Are you okay with that? If you are, then go for it and enjoy the ride! If not, then maybe it’s time to bring a halt to this guy’s reentry into your life.
Keep your options open. Always keep in mind that whenever he’s away from you, there’s a huge chance that he’s trying his luck with other women. In this case, you shouldn’t keep yourself perpetually on hold for him. If he treats you like one of his options, then you should do the same by not investing your feeling in him. Always keep your options open because this guy who has a habit for appearing and disappearing will very likely disappear on you again when you need him.
Tell him to leave you alone. If you’ve been through the whole shebang of almost falling in love with this guy then having your heart broken when he flakes out on you, maybe it’s time to check if you’re willing to go through it all again. If not, it might be time to tell him to go find some other person to pester. You can’t perpetually be available for him, and it’s not easy taking the emotional toll of investing your feelings only to have them dashed once he disappears.
Skip the emotional rollercoaster and just give him the boot when he comes back!