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When A Guy Says He Loves You


Oh yes, the big kahuna of words. The four letter bombshell.  The biggest, yet shortest spelled, word there is when it comes to relationships. The ‘L’ word itself. Love.

When a guy says this word, it seems like your whole world can go up in flames. Usually this is a great thing. Something that we find ourselves jumping with joy over. And it’s not generally a word that is tossed around lightly. So why do we feel as if our world is on fire? But not the good kind of fire. The fire that burns everything down and leaves nothing behind.

One word: Doubt.

Sometimes we can be doubtful of whether the word was said genuinely or whether it was just being said to be said. This may be because we have been hurt too many times before. It’s okay to be doubtful! You definitely are in the right to feel that way.

After all, sometimes men can be great at messing with our heads, don’t you think?

That is why we might be skeptical of whether they are truly in love with us or they’re just simply saying “I love you” for the heck of it.

We must be cautious of being doubtful or skeptical forever, though. Not every time that a man says the three letter sentence is he lying to us.

You have to learn how to tell the difference between what is fake and what is real.

How do you do that? Simple. Reading the following guide below to get an idea of what a guy means when he says he loves you.


Take into consideration the amount of time that the two of you have known each other.

Not only that, but you should also ponder what type of relationship you share with one another.

Why is important to consider these types of things?

Because the amount of time matters. When a guy says he loves you and you have only been seeing each other for a short time, six months or less, there is a high chance that he is not being sincere when he says it to you. He might just be trying to get intimate with you and he thinks that saying it will loosen you up to the idea.

The type of relationship that you have is also extremely crucial to evaluate in this situation. If the two of you are not officially dating, there is strong possibility he is only saying it for the same reasons we just mentioned.

You have to be cautious when a guy says it too fast. There is occasionally times where two people fall in love rapidly and feel the need to say it. However, they will usually wait until the appropriate amount of time has passed, as to not scare off the person that they are interested in.

It’s more likely that he truly means it if the two of you have been together for more than six months and you have officially been labeled as a couple for that amount of time.


You may not have thought about this before, which is exactly why we are bringing it up now. Atmosphere says a lot about what a guy means when he tells you that he loves you.

What do we mean when we say atmosphere? We mean that when he says it, it should be done in the right place, at the right time and there should be a certain feeling that comes along with it. The feeling of romance, of course.

Normally a proper I love you is said when the two of you have gone out to a romantic dinner.

Sometimes it can be said in a ‘heat of the moment’ type situation.

This would include something dramatic that has happened to the two of you that has brought you closer together.

You may be alone when it is said. That is likely genuine, but not always.

However, if the two of you are in public, or around a group of friends, it’s more likely that he definitely means what he is saying to you.

Why would that be the case?

Because when he says it with other people around, a.k.a witnesses, it’s a lot harder to take it back. He will end up making himself look like a fool, not only to you, but to the people that he had said it in front of.

The Reasons

When a guy says “I love you” to you, we tend to think that it just means what it says. However, that is not always the case. There are actually several different reasons that a guy might tell you those three little words. We know, it’s sad that there could be more to it, but that’s just the plain and simple truth of the matter.

Reason #1: He F’d Up

So a guy might go ahead and tell you that he loves you because he made a mistake. It must have been a whopper, too. Sometimes a guy will try his hardest to keep you sticking around him, especially after he has f’d up and done something to hurt or upset you.

He may have cheated on you or done something that really affected your life.

People tend to throw anything out there to try and get you to stay by their side after making a major mistake.

This is typically behavior that comes from someone who is manipulative and, more often than not, a narcissist.

A guy who truly loves you will not use something so important as an excuse to make up for a major screw up that he made. Instead he will try and fix the mistake or take the blame with honor. Then he will tell you that he loves you when the timing is better and the atmosphere isn’t so negative.

Reason #2: He Feels Cornered

This is definitely a sad one, but sometimes a guy might just say I love you as a response to you saying that you love him. Especially if it is too soon. That is why we emphasize ensuring that the timing is absolutely perfect to say something so personal to someone. If you have been hounding him to say that he loves you back, he might just do it to get you to leave him alone about it. He might think that the only way to make you happy is by saying it back to you.

This is often a thing that is said when you are threatening to leave him, due to the mistake. He might blurt out that he loves you as a bargaining chip for you to stay with him.

Reason #3: He Wants To Get Physical

Yup, many guys will tell you something like “i love you” because they simply want to get into your knickers. Sick and terrible, but definitely a more common reason for it to be said. This is usually something that comes out the mouths of the men known as ‘players’ or ‘manwhores’. They are typically known for having ‘been around the block’ a few times. They seem very charming, but the truth is that they will say anything to get you to drop your drawers.

They will usually say it very hastily and while the two of you are partaking in something more physically intimate with each other.

You might find this is often said when the two of you are making out passionately. Or when you are sliding into third base with him.

Be aware that if it is said quickly and then he tries to hit a ‘home run’ and get to fourth base with you, he is probably only saying he loves you to accomplish that.

After that you probably won’t hear him say it to you again. He might, in fact, refrain from acknowledging that the words ever even came out of his mouth in the first place.

This is sketchy behavior, but commonly the only thing you can really expect from womanizers.

Reason #4: He Thinks It’s What You Want To Hear

So not every time that he says it does it have to have terrible reasoning behind it, if he doesn’t actually mean it. This reason isn’t the greatest, but at least it isn’t the worst of them. It’s more of neutral reason if anything. He might really, really like you… Deeply. However, he is not at the stage yet where he has developed a strong enough bond with you to actually mean it when he says he loves you. But he does think that telling you he loves you is what you want to hear. He might feel like if he doesn’t say it soon, you won’t remain content with him. You might have been dropping hints that you are in love with him. Now he is panicking and the only thing that he can think of the make everything better is to tell you the three letter he thinks that you want to hear the most.

Reason #5: He’s Taking Advantage Of You

Do you notice that the guy who is telling you that he loves you is reaping certain benefits from you? This may make a case for you to believe that he is using you for something and that is exactly why he is telling you that he loves you. You may be his provider or money, giving him a place to crash or helping him out in some other monetary or materialistic way.

You might also find a guy telling you that he loves you when he is trying to use you against someone else.

What do we mean by that?

Oh, honey, he’s using you to make somebody jealous.

Does he often flaunt you around his ex-girlfriend or someone that he has had romantic or sexual interest in the past? That’s a common reason that guys stick around girls.

You will notice that your dates are not very frequent, but when you do have them they are always around other people that he knows. He might just be showing you off.

Kind of like him saying, “Hey, look at my hot girlfriend, she’s mine! Haha!”

However, there may not be any actual feelings behind it. You will notice the difference between someone who is taking you for granted and someone that actually has deep feelings for you.

Someone who really loves you will not use for your stuff, money or for showmanship.

Reason #6: He Actually Loves You

And, of course, there is one amazing reason that he might suddenly be telling that he loves you. What could that be? Well, that he actually, truly, 100% is in love with you. There will be no strings attached to this and there will not be any hesitation. You should be able to feel the difference between a real “I love you” and a fake one. If you ever have a hard time figuring it out, just resort back to reasons 1-5 to help you out.


    • Thank you for sharing your positive comment. Please feel free to share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Tiffany!

  1. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now he lives in Zion Illinois and I live in Milwaukee. We only see each other once a week due to the 1 hour distance between us but soon I will be getting an apartment closer to him. He says I love you to me all the time, but yet he is still on the app called tagged where we initially met. He says he is just on there for friends

    • Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Decide what is acceptable for this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Nikki!

    • It is possible that he is interested in a developing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Spider!

  2. This guy has never had sex with me and we only met once. There was a strong attraction. He tells me all the time that he feels like he loves me. I told him I love him like Jesus loves the world Agape love.He says that he still love me no matter how I feel about him. We are in a long distance relationship.He has nothing to gain.

    • It is clear this person feels a strong emotional connection with you. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Tesha!

  3. kissed with this guy(colleague), i stopped him due to confusion of a recent break up. Told him don’t take it personally. He replied “don’t take it personally?!weve just kissed?!” Later that night after more kissing, I decided we should part ways seperately. Few days after of awkwardness, flirting again and sharing about his personal life,that he’d tell me about his week-trip when he gets back. Same night he phoned and asked me a work favor, then later said “youre amazing, i love you”. Ps. He talks and makes me laugh a lot. But that’s just all at work. Time span: 3 months.

    • It is clear that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. You have kissed him multiple times, so it is certainly reasonable for him to assume that you want to develop a relationship with him as well. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Yana!

  4. My boyfriend is older. And unemployed. I work 60 hours a week. He says he loves me and he complains he doesn’t get to see me very much. He recently told me he doesn’t want to see me anymore because he loves me so much but I never get to spend time with him. I spend every free moment but I have with him. It’s not much but it’s what I have.
    I’m scared he’s manipulating me. I’m scared he wants to use me. I’ve been used before. But I’m not sure. Can you shed light on this with your opinion?

    • He has decided that he does not need to work. He wants all of your free time. He will continue to demand your time. Determine what you want for the future of your relationship. Decide what is appropriate and viable. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. If he responds negatively or ignores you, then you may want to take another look at your relationship. Have a great day, Sasha!

  5. Well, One Of My Friends That Ive Known For 7 Years, At First When He Said He Loved Me He Was Just Kidding, Then He Said I Love You Again And I Asked Him If He Was Serious Or Was He Kidding, He Said That He Was Serious.

    • It is possible that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. Determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Madison!

  6. I’m 58. My guy and I connected at our high school reunion. We’ve been connected for two months have seen each other in person three times because he’s a sea captain and has been out at sea since I met him. Although he expects to be home for many months this year. So our relationship has based upon texts and calls and 2 lovely dates. He just texted me he loves me. We have shared a lot. He texts every morning and every night. Sometimes more. It’s amazing what you can learn and cover via text. I still don’t know whether to believe it. When I ask our mutual friends. They say he’s a good guy. Not sure what to think.

    • The two of you share a strong emotional connection. You can expect that he will be interested in spending time with you when he returns. Determine what you are looking for in a relationship, and speak with him about your thoughts and feelings in person.

  7. A good friend of mine I knew for 3 years said he loved me since 5 grade, well he texted me it in German, when I texted him I was leaving this country in a few months, does he really mean it?

    • He shared his feelings with you, so it is clear that he has some feelings for you. You responded by telling him that you were leaving, so it is likely that he feels uncertain or confused about your feelings toward him. If you want to nourish this relationship, then attempt to spend time with him in person. If you don’t believe that this relationship is viable, then inform him of your feelings.


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