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When She Likes You but Doesn’t Want a Relationship


This is perhaps one of the worst things that you can hear. If a girl rejects you, at least you know that there was never a chance. She didn’t like you, and you have to move on. It hurts, but at least you can get on with your life. If your crush says she likes you and doesn’t want a relationship, it can be devastating. For months or years, you may wonder why a girl who is supposed to be interested in you, does not actually want anything more.

Is It You or the Word “Relationship”?

As much as it hurts, you may agonize about whether she doesn’t see you as relationship material or if relationships, in general, are the problem. Honestly, it may not be worth the pain you are putting yourself through. She might not think of you as relationship material and may see you as someone she can just have a sexual fling with. It is also possible that she wants to focus on other parts of her life and just does not have the time for a relationship. Stressing yourself about which reason is the true one won’t help any.

What Does She Really Mean?

Sometimes, a girl will say that she does not want a relationship because she is busy with school or because someone died. There is at least a 50/50 chance that this reason is the truth. If she is seriously dedicated to her education, she might not want to let anyone distract her from the goal. At the same time, most people have a little leeway with these things. If, for example, Mr. Right showed up at her doorstep, she might make an exception despite being so busy. Her busy schedule just means that she has to set her standards really high for anyone who might take away from her other goals in life. If she is dealing with a major trauma or has serious goals to achieve, there might not be anyone who would really be worth that time.

What Is Wrong With Me?

Everyone has asked themselves at some point. Whether you were just dumped or the girl of your dreams rejected you, you may feel like you are the problem. In reality, it is some combination of you and her that is the issue. Perhaps she likes more musically inclined guys or maybe she wants a buff surfer. Everyone likes a different type of partner, and it isn’t your fault if you are not interested in 18th century erotica or mid-century guitar solos. She might like you and be attracted to you, but that does not mean that she sees a long-term potential in dating you.

We do have to mention one unfortunate possibility: she may not like you. It can be rather difficult rejecting someone. The guy may become upset, stop being the girl’s friend or get a severe drop to his ego. The girl may have told you that she likes you because she thought it was a way to let you down easy. She figured that at least you would feel like you weren’t completely rejected, so she told you she likes you, but doesn’t want anything else. If this is the case, forget about any chance of dating her in the future because she won’t be interested.

What to Do Now

1. Give Up

In romance films, the guy runs after the airplane to try to catch the girl that rejected him. This is not how it works in real life. To start with, she was probably being honest when she said she did not a relationship. Respect her wishes. If she wasn’t being honest, she was playing some type of manipulative game. If that is the case, you should move on because she would only cause drama and stress in a relationship. Running after the plane won’t make her change her mind in real life, so give up. If she changes her mind later, she can be the one to make a move.

2. Know When to Move on

You cannot spend the rest of your life waiting around and hoping that she will like you enough to date. When she tells you that she does not want a relationship, tell her to message you if that ever changes so that she knows that you would still be interested later on. After that, forget about it. She obviously is not interested in a serious relationship with you, so you shouldn’t dwell on it too much. You have an entire life to live.

3. Stay Busy

If you fell for this girl hard, then it may take some time to get back on your feet and play the field. Don’t worry; it happens. Try focusing on some of your favorite hobbies again. Reach out to your friends to hang out and stay around people. Over time, you will gradually start to forget about her. When you are ready, start dating around again until you can find someone who is actually a good partner for you.

4. Consider Your Options

There is a silver lining in this rain cloud. She said that she did not want a relationship, but that does not mean that she is not interested in other options. She may just want to have a sexual fling, or she may be interested in a friends with benefits relationship. If you can handle just having a sexual relationship with a girl that you wanted to actually date, then do it. If you cannot handle being just a fling, then don’t. Just keep in mind that there are other options that you guys could do if she does not want a committed relationship.

In general, a girl will say that she does not want a relationship if she does not like you enough to consider that option. If she says that she is not interested in a relationship, your best bet is to move on to someone else. Hanging around will only be a waste of time, and there are other girls out there who would be a better fit for you.


    • If she likes you and doesn’t want to leave you, then there is no problem unless you do not want to nourish this relationship. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with your partner about your thoughts and feelings. Give her a chance to share herself with you as well. Have a great day, Wyatt!

  1. There is nothing wrong with the guy I like very much. I even disclosed my feelings to him which I find irrational, but it’s an emotion that’s illogical. Anyway, he told me that he loved me, but there is no action going on. I’m also busy pursuing my career. I want him; I don’t want him, and probably vice versa. We’re playing Tom and Jerry on the messengers whenever we find time to flirt. I have no idea, but it would be nice if we can at least hangout for drinks. I might change my mind about my relocation someday. Otherwise, I stick to my plans. I think I will find him in someone else’s shoe.

    • The two of you share a social and emotional relationship with each other. You are attracted to him and he is likely attracted to you. Determine what you want for this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Attempt to spend additional time with him in person. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Weirdos!

    • Your comment indicates that she is thinking about dating you. Determine what you want for your future. Nourish your relationship by spending additional time with her in person. Speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. Give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. Have a great day, Yeee!

  2. I am way late on this but that is just an excuse to try and back off. The question is do you see her romantically or you okay with “just friends?” Honestly you aren’t because you have already expressed your feelings. She has decided to do this not you and a friendship is going to be hard maybe even impossible for you. You need to cut the cord as hard as it because the first time she goes on a date with someone else you are going to be miserable

    • Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. You are right, when the person that you share your thoughts and feelings with informs you that they are not romantically interested in you, then you have a decision to make. You can decide if you are mature enough to maintain the friendship or you may choose to end the relationship. Please feel free to share more of your supportive comments in the future. Have a great day, S!

  3. ok hi my case is probably a film i met this girl in national service we shared a hostel *not a rooom wasnt physically attracted to her at first thought i could just be nicer around ladies cause ive been treatin them like boys then she came close often tried to hang out with me told me everythin abot her a guy she so loves who doesnt love her back and people who knew him say we are similar behaved .. im religious so i dont do sex but i found out we connected and i love d chemistry we have we share a lot in common even close birthdays but she said she doesnt want any relationship right nw but she doesnt want me to leave her recently she was tellin me hw she wants to travel to where dt guy stays on a vacation nt because of him i was mad nd i pretty much dont want to talk to talk to her wht do i do to prevent thos type of thin or change her mind

    • Try telling her how you feel and see what she wants to do. Then, respect her wishes and believe her. If she says she doesn’t want a relationship, let it go. If she tells you she likes you and wants to date you, you’re in. Whatever she wants, the only real way to figure it out is to talk to her and find out for sure. Best of luck, Tamunotokini Belgam Pokubo!

  4. I actually met a girl some few weeks ago and then we’ve been talking everyday. I fell in love with her. I told her about my feelings and she actually told me she actually felt it at the start. Now she tells me she doesn’t know what to say about my feelings for and then she said “even if she doesn’t grant my wish, she is still there for me” can somebody explain this for me?

    • The two of you spoke to each other about your feelings a few weeks ago. Another influence in her life may have caused her feelings to change. She is interested in being a close and supportive friend, but she is not interested in maintaining a romantic relationship with you at this time. Nourish this relationship by spending additional time with her in person, and ensure that you share your kindness and compassion at all times. Have a great day, Seyram!


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