Dating is a tricky thing. Some may even call it a game. So why do guys like to complicate the matter by playing their own games on top of the game we call dating? That’s a good question.
Mind games are just an inevitable part when it comes to this whole relationship thing.
Girls play them.
Guys play them.
We all play them!
Maybe we don’t always realize that we are doing it, but it’s certain that we do.
But, why do we do it?
There’s a few different reasons we go to such great lengths to mess with someone’s mind.
Some people like to simply mess with others just because they can. Yup. You read that right. There is no other reason behind it than they like to be a jerk. These are the type of men that you should avoid at all costs, because if you end up dating them it’s only going to get worse. They show no regard for anyone’s feelings other than their own amusement. It’s terrible to think about, but it’s sadly true. There some people who want to yank someone around just for the heck of it. Almost without shame usually, too. How can you separate the bullies from other types of people who play games?
A few different ways actually.
Someone just messing with you for pure fun is going to do things harshly.
They will set up dates with you and bail. Afterwards they might text you unsympathetically and re-plan the date, only to repeat the same thing.
They will purposely humiliate you and enjoy doing so.
They will avoid your calls and respond with a text shortly after. Stating they are by their phones, but they just don’t want to talk with you.
They will go out with other girls and make you aware of it.
If the guy you are interested exhibits these signs then run for the hills! He might be a sociopath.
He’s An Egomaniac
Although similar to a bully, egomaniacs are not quite as nasty of people to deal with. If anything they are just more annoying. They tend to want to stroke their ego every chance they get. That means they will play games with you to make themselves feel good. Men find it easy to validate themselves when it comes to dating. They use women as pawns to do so. They will play girl after girl just to fan the ego fire. It makes them feel strong and invincible.
These types of men are often referred to as womanizers!
He Wants Something
This is not something we like to think about, but it does happen more than we would assume. There are men and women who will date someone just for the sole purpose of taking advantage of them. Whether it is because you have valuable information (yes, we know life is not a spy movie, but it does happen!) or you have something to offer such as money, possessions, etc. These types of people are often referred to as gold diggers. They are only using you for what you have. How do you know when someone is gold digging you?
Pay attention to when they choose to spend time with you. Do you only see them when you are buying them something, like dinner or clothes? Do you always pay for everything when the two of you go on dates?
Do you rarely see him unless you are providing something for him?
Those are all signs that he is using you.
Another way that he could be using you is for sex.
Does he call you only when he wants to get intimate?
To make sure this isn’t just a booty call, ask him to spend some quality time with you outside of the bedroom.
If he doesn’t oblige, you can be sure that was the only thing on his mind.
They Just Aren’t Ready
Sometimes when you just get out of a long term relationship you jump right back in the dating pool. However, that does not mean that you were ready to do so. Some men end up doing this. Yes, they usually regret doing so, but it doesn’t mean that they will back out immediately. They may have thought they were ready to start something, but when then when things started going somewhere, he started backing off little by little. He may like you, but he may just not be equipped to start another relationship at this time.
Maybe he’s been with a lot of women and now he isn’t even looking for anything serious. He might just be out to entertain himself. These guys are the worst, but they do exist! They are not necessarily in it to feel good about themselves. They just do it for their own amusement or to pass the time until they find a girl that really catches their interest.
Now that you know what type of people like to play mind games, what’s next? Well you must know which mind games to look out for and how to deal with them. They can be hard to distinguish unless you know exactly what to keep your eyes peeled for. So we thought we’d help you out by describing some of these different games and how you can fight back at them.
The “I’m An Overachiever” Mind Game
This game is one of the most difficult to deal with. Only because it totally throws you through a loop every time that you encounter it. And most of the time you just don’t see it coming, so it ends up hitting you in the face like a bag of bricks.
What is this game?
This game is played by pretending that you are something you are not.
So the man will pretend he is a completely different person. He will tell you all these great things about himself.
“I own 7 yachts.”
“I once met Neil Patrick Harris.”
“I own the biggest skyscraper in N.Y.C.”
Lies, lies and more lies. But they won’t be just any lies. They will be lies that make you think he is the coolest person in the world.
He will work really hard to make it seem like he’s some big hot shot.
Usually the best way to deal with this type of mind game is by finding a way to trap him in his own lie.
Ask him to show you some sort of proof that lets you know he is being honest.
Most of the time there is no way that he can prove his claims and that’s that.
The “Cold Shoulder” Mind Game
We hate it when we are ignored, but what’s worse is when we are being ignored by the person we like. This really hurts.
He knows that by ignoring you he is bothering you. The reason he does this is because he gets a kick out of watching you beg for his attention.
He knows that you are really into him and he is using that against you.
It makes him happy knowing that even though he’s been ignoring you, the minute that he calls you or texts you, you will answer the phone in a split second!
How do you deal with this type of game?
You fight fire with fire as they say.
This means giving him the cold shoulder right back.
Ignore him, but do it for even longer.
This way the tables will be turned and soon he will be the one begging you to pick up the phone.
The “I Never Existed” Mind Game
This game is a tough one to deal with, but it’s not impossible.
This game is played by finding a woman and romancing her. This could take a time of weeks or even months. He will have you wrapped around his finger and once he does- Poof! He’s gone.
How do you know when someone is going to play this game?
Well, the two of you usually spend quite a bit of time together before he heads off into the sunset and isn’t heard from again for a long time. That means there is a good amount of time for you to really get to know him.
You should learn about his family and friends. You should learn special dates such as his birthday. You’ll figure out his place of work.
So when he runs off and you think about it, what do you know?
Do you know any of those things about him? If not there’s a good chance he is playing this mind game with you.
He will go out of his way to make sure that you know nothing of him so that when he leaves you can’t track him down.
How do you battle a game like this?
Make sure you get that info to make sure he is legit.
If he doesn’t want to talk to you, dump him girl, ‘cause he’s obviously playing games with you!
The “I’ll Pay You Back” Mind Game
These types of games are the least fun to deal with. Why? Because you are actually giving something to this guy and getting nothing in return. Money, time, favors, etc. Whatever it may be, this game actually costs you something other than your dignity.
How do you catch someone in this game?
Your man will ask you for thing after thing and sound very genuine when he says that he will pay you back. However, he never will. He will also start a new tab of debt with you before he pays his previous one.
So what do you do if he’s playing this awful game?
Don’t pay for his stuff! Have everything done equally at least. Make sure that he does his part. If he refuses, then you’ve won and it’s time to move on.