Home Health & Wellness Why Does Your Heart or Chest Hurt When You’re Emotionally Sad?

Why Does Your Heart or Chest Hurt When You’re Emotionally Sad?


After a major break up or a death of a loved one, you may feel so upset that it hurts. You experience gut-wrenching heartache and pain as you try to work through your feelings. There are many descriptions in literature and popular culture about the pain in your heart or chest when you are sad. This is not just a coincidence. When you are emotionally sad or upset, it can actually cause you physical pain. It is not just in your mind. Your feelings are actually causing physical changes in your body.

Terms like heartache are not just a metaphor. People actually feel physical pain when they feel emotional pain. Your body is designed to handle stress in certain ways. When you are engaged in a stressful situation, it causes physical changes. Your heart rate increases, your stomach churns, you become short of breath and your muscles tighten.

When scientists look at MRIs of people in emotional or physical pain, they see something interesting. Emotional pain causes the same brain regions to light up as physical pain does. This seems to show that your body connects emotional and physical pain. When you are upset or sad, you actually feel physical pain because of the strength of your feelings.

Why Does This Happen?

In New Age literature, you always read about the mind-body connection. This is not just some made-up, New Age topic. There really is a distinct connection between your mind and body. In 2009, the University of Maryland and the University of Arizona conducted a study on this topic. They decided to look at changes to brain activity in the anterior cingulate cortex. This part of the brain is designed to handle emotional reactions. During a stressful experience, your anterior cingulate cortex reacts by increasing the vagus nerve’s activity. This nerve is connected to your chest, brain stem, abdomen and neck. If your vagus nerve is stimulated excessively, it can cause you to experience nausea and pain.

In another 2006 study, emotional pain was found to influence your perception of pain. In the study published in Science, a mouse watched a fellow mouse that was in agony. Even though the first mouse was not harmed, it had a changed sensitivity to pain because of its empathy for the harmed mouse. Another MRI study on humans found that social kindness could change how the brain responds to pain. For example, holding hands could reduce how sensitive you are to pain. Different regions of the brain like the superior frontal gyrus, the anterior insula and the hypothalamus were found to play roles in regulating negative emotions and blunting the feeling of pain.

The experience of heartache seems to be caused by the anterior cingulate cortex. This part of the brain regulates emotional reactions, and it becomes active during stressful situations. Your heartache is not just in your mind. You are actually experiencing increased pain because of the emotional stress that you are under.

Your Mind and Body

This type of mind-body reaction is not just related to your recent heartache. Different emotions can cause different physical reactions. When you are afraid, it feels like your stomach drops. Anxiety, anger and fear were also found to cause strong reactions in your chest area. Meanwhile, seeing a crush can give you goosebumps. When study volunteers felt love and happiness, sensations started to spark all over their bodies.

What Happens When You Experience a Break Up?

For most people, a break up is one of the most emotionally devastating things that can happen. Other than losing a loved one, there are few events that are as emotionally difficult and challenging to go through. Unfortunately, your break up is taking its toll on your body. There are a few different physical changes that happen following a break up, and these changes are not in your head. A break up is actually genuinely bad for your health.

1. Your Stress Hormones Go Nuts

As you might expect, the constant stress of a break up causes your stress hormones to spiral out of control. When you first fell in love, you experienced a boost in oxytocin and dopamine. These neurochemicals induced feelings of pleasure and happiness. If you have ever researched addictions, you may have noticed that dopamine is one of the chemicals involved in an addiction as well. This is not just chance; you basically become addicted to love.

Unfortunately, a break up is a devastating end to your love addiction. All of those positive neurochemicals stop flooding your body, and your brain fills with epinephrine and cortisol. Known as the stress hormones, these neurochemicals cause blood to flow to your muscles and your heart to beat faster. Your body basically goes into flight or fight mode as it experiences this stress. This can lead to a stiff neck, swollen muscles, headaches and a tight sensation in your chest.

2. You May Gain or Lose Weight

For many people, a break up results in a changed attitude toward food. Some people begin binge-eating as a way to distract themselves, comfort their broken heart and heal. Other people are so consumed by stress and anxiety that they cannot even contemplate eating. Either option can lead to a rapid change in your weight as you try to get over your loss.

3. You Will Question Yourself

When you fall in love with someone, your personal identity starts to change. Before long, you are thinking of yourself as an “us” instead of just an “I.” Once the break up occurs, you lose this “us” identity. Instead of being someone’s partner, you are just yourself again. This can cause you to have an existential crisis as you try to figure out who you are again. You may also question your personal qualities as you try to figure out if it is something that you did or said that caused the break up.

3. You Will Feel Depressed

Now that the happiness hormones are gone you are probably going to experience depression. When you experience trauma or loss, you may experience a drop in your self-esteem. Your heartache and lower self-esteem can fuel a sense of depression. Researchers have also found that a loss that caused reduced self-esteem was twice as likely to cause depression.

4. You May Go Through Withdrawal

As we mentioned before, you have basically developed an addiction to the positive hormones that happen when you fall in love. When you are suddenly out of love, your mind and body go through withdrawal. In MRI studies, the brain areas that activate when seeing a picture of an ex are the same ones that light up when someone goes through cocaine withdrawal. Luckily, the withdrawal symptoms have something else in common with cocaine withdrawal. If you give it long enough, the withdrawal symptoms and stress will gradually go away.

While you may want to isolate yourself and binge-watch Netflix, that is one of the worst things that you can do. Whether you lost a loved one or experienced a break up, the best thing that you can do is to be around people. You need to boost your dopamine levels again, so start doing activities that you enjoy. Exercise, being around friends and doing activities that you love can help increase your dopamine levels.


  1. My so called girl friend leave me for another man and I’ve been having this severe chest pain. Now I know why,Thanks for sharing this piece.

  2. My heart has just been broken and I’ve never in my 31 years ever felt such a pain like this. My chest is in extreme pain even upon the touch of it. This is by far the scariest thing.

    • Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights. We wish you the best during this time. Focus your energy on sharing your kindness and compassion with the people who are in your life. This will help to alleviate these unpleasant sensations. Have a great day, Tishay!

  3. I lost my brother a little over a year ago( cancer) and occasionally still have moments when i feel incredibly sad and my chest aches. Today the person i love more than anything else walked out of my life because i was not a very good person and was doing things to make someone feel less than special. The pain I’m Feeling now is so much worse because this is my fault. I hurt someone and wasn’t aware of how badly I was hurting them until it was to late. Everything I did makes me sick. She deserves so much better and now someone else will be able to make her happy when i couldn’t. At least there’s that. Good luck to everyone who is hurting.

    • You are aware of the actions that you took that harmed her. This relationship has ended, so ensure that you learn from your mistakes. This event likely caused you to feel negative, which may have reminded you of the death of your late brother. Ensure that the positive memories of your ex partner and your brother influence you to share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. This will help to honor the memory of your brother and draw positive people and energy into your life. Have a great day, Mark!

  4. I know nobody cares but school makes me anxious.
    I’m not diagnosed with anxiety because my parents will think I’m exaggerating if I ask them to take me to a doctor & see what’s wrong but that’s besides the point. School’s in less than a month & whenever I think about it and how everyone is better than me both physically & mentally, how my heart beats so fast, my chest hurts & I can neither breathe nor move my legs when a teacher asks me a question & takes me by surprise, how judgmental the boys are & how toxic my “friends” are; constantly making me feel/sometimes upright telling me I look bad & am not enough as if I don’t already know, my chest hurts. I’m so afraid of going back.
    But thank you for posting this, I wasn’t aware of the logistics behind it.

    • It is common for people to feel anxious at school. It seems that you are concerned about the social situation at the school, and your parents are not responsive. You may want to speak with your counselor when school begins. They are often understanding and may be able to give you advice that may be able to help you. If your friends are toxic, then you may want to nourish a new friend group. You may find benefit in spending additional time in the library. Have a great day, Jenna!

  5. I have been heartbroken for 43 years, my heart has not stopped hurting during this entire time, I have no idea how to overcome this, every night I pray I die in my sleep

    • You have stated that you pray to die. This is an indication of suicidal ideations. You may want to speak with a psychologist about your thoughts. You have chosen to dwell on this relationship for forty three years. This decision has certainly influenced your negative emotions. Make an appointment with a medical professional at this time. Best of luck, Dave!

    • I suffered for years also, im over coming now i told my family doctor, he send for therapy,
      doing better now
      ill pray for you

      • Thank you for sharing your supportive comment. We always appreciate when members of our community share their thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Frank!

  6. I learned a lot from this article. My chest has been killing me, off and on for 10 years now, because my son seemed to turn away from me when he was 12 – 13. This is when his dad got married to an obnoxiously jealous and controlling monster. She manipulated my son against me and would use his dad as a tool to manipulate my son into believing things she said about me and to act a certain way so that he nor his dad would have to deal with her wrath. I’ve been taking the high-road this entire time to avoid causing more drama in my boys’ life. In doing so, the monster sees herself as winning and has just gotten more evil. Now my son is about to turn 22 and it’s as if he doesn’t even know me – this started years ago. I feel like he’s not connected to me in any way. His girlfriend has to tell him to hug me when I visit. He doesn’t respond when I reach out, at all. When I express pain to him he’s unbothered. I’m lucky if I even get to see him on holidays; otherwise, I just don’t get to see him because any and everything else in life comes before me. It honestly feels as if he doesn’t consider me his mother, that’s exactly what it feels like. Therefore; I feel a loss, like sudden-death syndrome. What’s worse is that I can’t get past it because when we do have a visit or a decent chat via technology, I’m so pleased and happy and feel as though we are good and everything is okay. But then it’s yanked away from me almost immediately because it goes back to him basically being out of my life again – just gone. So then there I am in pain again. I experience everything mentioned above. All I do in life is wonder what I did to make him change SO drastically against me. This in turn makes me communicate in a negative way with him by bringing up situations that I think of that may have caused this change. He denies it and that’s it. No comfort, no follow-up, nothing. I’m left in grave heartache and isolation. This time around I’ve been feeling the same as the gentleman above, suicidal ideations, because I can’t find a way out of this pain. There’s no dealing with it because it’s a yo-yo effect. Once I feel strong in accepting this as my life – we’ll have a positive experience and then I’m sucked right back in like a fool, only setting myself up to drop alllll the way back down from the happiest high. For some reason I feel it’s taken it’s toll because I’m so lethargic this time and can’t seem to lift myself out of it. I actually get why he doesn’t want to be around me now because I’ve turned into such a worry wart about what originally happened that changed him. I just want to know so I can address and fix it so we can have our mother/son bond back, but he just denies every idea I come up with and there’s nothing said to calm or comfort me. He has a wall up. He’ll be cordial with me and that’s it. There’s no joy or love exuding from him anymore. Anyway, I did a search about heart pain because it’s the worst it’s ever been and my thoughts have never been this bad. I’m definitely in fight or flight but I keep reminding myself that no matter where I run too the pain will never leave me. So it makes sense that I’d be thinking about dying because I don’t have my son yet he’s here on earth, just not with me. I don’t know how much more I can take. And it scares me.

    • That would definitely be difficult to go through. It is never easy to become estranged from a family member, but it is definitely difficult when it involves a child. All you can do now is focus on making meaningful connections to other people and hope that the situation gradually improves or you find other people to share your life with who want to be a part of it. Good luck!

  7. I said I didn’t know why it’s so bad this time but forgot to mention that it’s because I asked him to do right by me whenever he gets married and to put me in my rightful place in the first seat of the front row. I just wanted to get it out of the way so as to avoid any drama at his eventual wedding one day. And also to prevent another painful experience of being pushed aside so as to please the monster and his dad. He just responded with “Lol okay” and I asked if he was laughing AT me or agreeing to properly respect me. He won’t answer and it’s just too much to bear to think that he’d fall victim to her manipulation again and put her first, AGAIN. I didn’t sleep for the entire first year of his life because that’s when sudden infant death syndrome is prevalent. When he turned one I remember such a sense of relief….yet I’ve lost him anyway. I just never in my life would have thought this would ever happen. He was so happy, joyful, caring and loving before all of this. Even his father and I got along. But when the monster came into the picture, EVERYTHING changed and I feel like on one hand I didn’t do enough but on the other hand I know if I did any more it would’ve caused SO much more drama for him. Yet somehow she’s convinced him I’m the bad guy, for years and now it just seems to be ingrained in him. I feel like I could jump out of a window right now even thinking about this situation.

    • It sounds like you have done everything you can to change the situation. Sometimes, all you can do is move on and let things be. Once he has children of his own, it will most likely bring up memories of his own childhood and he’ll start to remember all of the special moments you shared together before you and his dad separated.


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