If you often find yourself in a string of relationships that don’t work, or leaving behind a trail of romantic rejections, you’ve probably thought to yourself at least once: “Why don’t girls like me?” You may be tempted to think that it must be something wrong with women as a whole, and not a fundamental flaw within your personality.
After all, no one likes to think that there’s something wrong with them. But it’s much more likely that girls don’t like you for legitimate reasons, rather than the female sex having a conspiracy against you, specifically. It might hurt to hear, but it’ll help you make some big changes to yourself in the long run that will make you more approachable to girls. So, why don’t girl’s like you? Here’s why.
1. She see’s you as just a friend
While this may be hard to swallow, it’s probably just the truth. Even if you both spend a lot of time together, go to movies, dinner, hang out and watch television, she may just not be into you romantically. If you talk to her openly and honestly about your feelings, this could possibly change… but don’t demand it to, to set up an ultimatum. A girl who see’s you as a friend values you as a person regardless of physical intimacy. Friendship is important. If you’re unable to value her as a friend without the benefits of a physical relationship, there just may be a bigger reason as to why you’re single.
2. You’re annoying
This is a harsh truth, but it may be time to consider it. Do your conversations tend to stagnate? Or, maybe you’re just really into something and don’t notice that the girl in question has a glazed over look in her eyes. If you’re not getting much out of her other than a few nods and some noncommittal noises, you may be boring her to death. Not everyone has the same interests, and that’s okay. But you should make sure that you’re not dominating the conversation talking about your niche hobbies and completely ignoring her’s.
3. You don’t know when to be quiet
Have you ever taken a mental note of how long you dominate the conversation with your dates? Or how often you interrupt her? Or how often you correct her? “But, she got one small detail wrong!” You cry. Girls- or anyone for that matter -aren’t going to enjoy spending time with someone who is constantly condescending and talking down to them. Girls aren’t going to enjoy a conversation where they can’t figure out how to get an opening, either. Even if you think that you’re much more knowledgeable on a certain topic, it doesn’t mean that her opinions are worthless, or lack insight. Then again, you might never know it. While it may be stereotype that girls are always talking, she probably can’t get a word in edgewise.
4. You don’t have much to offer
Times are rough, but a girl is probably on high alert if you’re still financially dependent on your parents, don’t have a job and can’t drive. It’s not that she’s a “gold digger”, it’s just that these are some baselines in an adult relationship. She may be worried that you’re going to be the one becoming dependent on her! Make sure that you’re bringing as good as you get to the relationship. If you can’t offer support when she needs it, then she’s probably going to cut and run. It’s not that you don’t have a great personality, it’s just that sometimes that’s not enough.
5. You’re needy
Being needy is a red flag to a lot of women, since constant calling, texting and checking up on them can tip over in possessive territory really fast. It might be endearing at first, but women are constantly on the alert for if a guy turns out to be a creep. If you find that you constantly need her to answer your texts right away, or are asking for her to reassure you of her feelings every day, it may be a sign that you’re way too needy. This can especially be a drag if you’re not even dating yet! If you’re not together, there’s no reason that she should put up with your neediness. Nobody likes to feel smothered, and she definitely won’t like it if you’re upset every time she hangs out with her friends or goes out to a party. Being too needy can be a sign of low self-esteem, so try working on yourself a bit more before pursuing a relationship with someone else.
6. You’re a jerk
Okay, let’s face it. Are you an asshole? Do you spend your time on the internet sending mean spirited messages to people? Do you get a thrill out of calling women “b***hes” on Twitter, or hang out with your guy friends where you all make crude, unfunny jokes about things that will never affect you? Do you just not “get” feminism? Are you secretly a racist? A girl will be able to tell these things just by the way you act – or maybe you’re just open about it! If girls are avoiding you it’s probably because you’re a huge jerk. No girl is going to want anything to do with you if you have a complete lack of empathy. You’re probably not going to be any good for her in the relationship, anyway, and she’ll end up leaving after a few weeks. And good riddance, too!
7. You’re unattractive
Unfortunately, this may just be one of the reasons you’re still single. Men and women alike tend to be shallow creatures, and physical attraction is one of the bases for which we pursue romantic relationships. But don’t worry, this doesn’t mean that you’re going to be alone forever. Chances are, there’s someone out there just for you. If you’ve got a bit of a crooked nose, or a lopsided smile, or frizzy hair that just can’t be tamed, there’s going to be a girl out there for you who adores you just as you are. Of course, this means you’re no longer allowed to be hypocritical. If a girl likes you and she isn’t a perfect 10, you’re going to have to just accept her the way she accepts you.
As the old saying goes…
There are plenty of fish in the sea! Sometimes, you might just be going after the wrong fish. Or, the fish know that you’re a shark and steer clear of you! Whatever the reason, now you know a bit more on why you just can’t seem to get girls to like you. Whether your dream girl just see’s you as her best friend, or you’re a class-A jerk, this should provide a little more insight onto why you’re single.
For those of you who aren’t jerks, not all is lost! Plenty of these things can be worked on. People can and do grow and change as human beings, and blossom into happier, healthier and better adjusted people. Now, you have a starting point. Good luck – you’re gonna need it!