When you start dating someone, you expect them to be interested in you. You don’t expect the guy to text you every day or call you every night, but you at least expect him to respond to your texts every once in a while. When he is hot and cold all the tie, it really makes you question whether he is interested in you or not. Is he just trying to play hard to get or is he just not interested in you? Why is he hot and cold all the time? Did you do something wrong?
At first, he lays it on thick. It seems like you are the center of attention, and he treats you as if you are royalty. Then, he suddenly freezes you out. It seems like you are no longer important to him. Did he decide that the relationship is not worth his time? Did he ever really like you to begin with?
There are a number of different reasons why a guy might be hot and cold. To really tell why he is acting this way, you have to look at the entire relationship. Sometimes, the guy doesn’t even realize he is doing it. He is busy at work or had a bunch of events with friends, so he completely forget to pay attention to you for a while. If your date was previously attentive and suddenly stopped paying attention, start by looking at his life. If he has a lot of events or work projects to do right now, then there might not be any problem with you or the relationship. He just does not have the time to focus on everything. Once he has more time, the relationship will probably turn back to normal.
He Realized the Relationship Is Not Right for Him
This is a fairly common reason why he is hot and cold. You can never know if someone is the right for you until you get to know him better. He dated you for a bit, but realized that you were not just perfect for him.
This is not a reflection on who you are or your self-worth. In the right relationship, partners are like puzzle pieces. Neither person is perfect, but their puzzle pieces fit perfectly into each other. Your guy may have just realized that you were not the right puzzle piece for him. You might be the most amazing person in the world, but you are just not the exact person that he is looking for.
Obviously, it would be better if he just told you this. The last thing you want is to wait around forever because you think that a relationship could happen. Unfortunately, some guys are afraid of confrontation. He may be afraid of hurting you or just does not know how to express his feelings. Because of this, he might just go cold instead of doing the right thing and telling you how he feels.
He Is Afraid of Commitment
This is another reason why a guy might suddenly go cold. After a few dates, he started to realize that he was falling for you. He might not want a serious relationship right now, or he might be afraid of getting hurt. Or, he had a past relationship that made him really afraid of commitment. Now, he is starting to panic because he realizes just how deeply he feels.
It is also possible that he is not afraid of commitment; he just doesn’t want a relationship. He may have realized that you were falling for him, and he is trying to warn you off. He may just want a fling or a sexual relationship, so he does not want the relationship to get more intense than it already is. There is nothing wrong with having a fling or a sexual relationship, but it would be better if he would just tell you what he wants (or does not want).
He Just Wanted Sex
While this is not always the case, it happens enough to be a possible cause. When a guy wants to sleep with you, he will be very attentive. He will take you out, treat you well and be completely attentive. If he was only interested in sleeping with you, his behavior might change as soon as you sleep with him. He wants to move on to other conquests, or he might just want to keep you around as a late-night booty call. Either way, he just wants sex and is trying to keep you from wanting or expecting anything more from him.
You Misread Him
Think back to his “hot” behavior. Was there a chance that you were misreading it? While this is not always the case, there are certainly guys out there who are extremely friendly. It is very easy to misread a friendly guy’s actions as being into you. He may have just wanted to be friends and liked talking to you. You may have misunderstood how he felt, so you thought that he was interested.
It might have taken a bit, but he may have realized what was going on in your mind. He started to act coldly because he did not want to lead you on anymore. He realized that you misunderstood what he was doing, so he is trying to back off so that you realize that a relationship is not possible with him.
It Boosts His Ego
Another reason why a guy might go hot and cold is because of his ego. He may have never been interested in dating you. Instead, he just wanted to know that he could date you if he wanted to. While it is a terrible thing to do, he may have been trying to prove his own self-worth by showing that a women as amazing as yourself liked him. He did not plan on following through (or if he did, it may have just been for sex). All he wanted was that ego boost to allay his own insecurities and low self-esteem.