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Why Is He So Mean To Me For No Reason?

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You used to be okay, but all of a sudden he’s becoming mean. He seems to be aloof and passive. He lashes out at you for the smallest things. And he’s becoming a little cold lately. So why would a guy suddenly become mean to you?

why is he being mean to me all of a sudden

The Good Reasons

These are reasons you don’t really need to worry about that much. These are often just innocuous things that a guy does when he can’t handle what he’s feeling. Rest assured that these reasons don’t mean falling out of favor with the guy you’re with!

He is trying to cope with his feelings for you. For some guys, falling in love can feel like having a ton of bricks falling on their heads; they just don’t know what to do. And because of this confusion, he might decide to take it out on you. When a guy is being a little mean, it might be because he sees you as a reason for his confusion, and he’s just (immaturely) trying to get rid of the source of his turmoil.

He is not used to being with someone like you. Keep in mind that what you consider to be mean might be normal for a guy like him. For instance, you might think he’s being mean when he purposely ignores your texts. This could be leftover behavior from his experiences with women who like to play hard to get, and so he’s trying to play the same game with you. So when he’s being mean, try to think of what his motives may be and try to talk to him about it.

You did something he didn’t like, but he can’t put it into words. Guys can be pretty passive-aggressive too. You may not know it, but you may have done or said something that didn’t sit well with him. A more mature guy might talk to you about it, but a less mature guy might try to retaliate by being mean for no apparent reason. Word of advice: ask him directly about this, otherwise he’ll just keep being mean until he thinks you get the message.

He is frustrated with other things in his life. We’re not here to make excuses for a guy who is being mean to a girl, but some guys just don’t know how to handle frustration. When a guy is being mean by being passive towards you, there might be issues in his life that he’s currently preoccupied with. The best thing to do is to reach out to him and tell him that he’s not alone and that you can help him through whatever is going on in his life.

He just needs a little space. Is he pushing you away? If he is, he might not necessarily be pushing for a breakup. Instead, he might just need a little space to breathe. Perhaps he needs the space to sort out his life or his emotions, but either way, his way of telling you that he needs is space is by pushing you away with his meanness.

why is he so mean to me for no reason

The Bad Reasons

Uh-oh. These are some of the reasons he’s being mean that might spell the end of your relationship!

He has conflicting feelings for you. This one isn’t so bad. It could just mean that he really likes you, but there’s just something wrong with the situation. Maybe he’s at a low point in his life or he’s looking to focus on his career instead of a relationship, and this is why he’s lashing out at you. On the bright side, you know that he still has feelings for you. On the other hand, those feelings might not outweigh his current situation.

He is starting to develop feelings for someone else. Oh man, this one hurts. When a guy is starting to fall in love with another person while still in a relationship with someone else, things can get nasty. He might not be man enough to admit his attraction to another person, so he’ll try to drive you away by being mean to you. Another reason he’s not treating you right is because he might see you as an obstacle between himself and this other person he likes. If this is the case, it’s best to drop the guy like a hot potato and move on!

He wants to break up. There are just some guys who don’t know how to say what they feel directly. So their solution is to be as mean to you as they can so that you’ll initiate the breakup. It’s a horrible way to go about things, but it’s something that a lot of people do to get out of the responsibility of being the one to break things off.

As a word of advice, don’t ever make excuses for a guy’s meanness. If he’s been hurting you for a while, you have to decide if your relationship is even worth salvaging. If it’s not, then say goodbye to the guy because you definitely deserve better!

20 COMMENTS

  1. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year everything was fine until a few months ago we moved in together finances got tight and things got tight we started fighting and then weird things started happening like a unexplained condom box that wasn’t ours tags from my new clothes got hidden when I cut them off and he started getting very defensive and mean towards me and threatened to move out 2 times I don’t know what’s going on

    • Trouble with finances are common reasons for relationships to become difficult. Questions regarding condom boxes are also certain indications that answers need to be given by someone. His behaviors have become unacceptable. Determine what you want for your future and which type of relationship you would like to maintain. Share your thoughts and feelings with him. Have a great day, Emily!

  2. there’s this guy in my class i really like him. people always saying they think he likes me.today i asked him if you likes one of my friends then he got angry and said ‘stop!don’t talk and mind your own business’. he has never shouted at me before.

    • He has chosen to shout at you. Regardless of his potential feelings for you, he has shown that he is unstable and immature. Do not attempt to nourish a relationship with him at this time. If he reaches out to you in the future and shows that he has matured, then speak with him about your thoughts and feelings with him at that time. Have a great day, Nafeesah!

  3. There is this senior colleague of me mine at work. He’s always aunting me without a break, picking up on me or the smallest of things. Always commenting on whatever I do in a mean way. I was studying and had put off my glasses for a sometime, he even commented on that while passing by saying oh why studying without your glasses. What the hell is wrong with him?

    • This person is a sad, angry person. He finds pleasure in being rude, and he is someone that you should avoid. Be direct with him about your feelings. If he does not change his behaviors, then speak with your company about his inappropriate actions. If you feel that you are not being listened to, then you may need change your job. Have a great day, Pluto!

  4. I’ve been texting this guy i really liked. At first the conversations were interesting, just flowing naturally, he would msg me first, compliment me and everything. Then this one time we started talking about intimate stuff, he was quite open. But then not long after that our conversation started shifting its tone, it felt like we were trying to out smart each other, teasing, debating etc. But now he’s being straight out mean and not apologetic about it either. Yesterday he told me to sit down and be humble, I tried to brush it off as a joke but he stopped responding. I really don’t understand what happened here 🙁

    • His behavior seems to be aggressive and unacceptable. It is normal for people interested in each other to have intimate discussions. However, his choice to become rude should be an indication of his potential behaviors in the future. Make a decision about what you want for your future, and determine what type of relationship you want to nourish. Either speak with him about your thoughts and feelings, or determine what you want for your future without him. Have a great day, Michelle!

  5. My boyfriend was being really nice to me earlier then when I tried to get his friends number for my friend he just got really cold and distant and was like no then when I confronted him about it he said I couldn’t take a hint I’m just so confused earlier we were playing truths (because it was over text so we couldn’t do dares) and he was being cute and when I had to give him a truth I asked name all the reasons you wouldn’t date me he was like I can’t because there isn’t any and the he goes and does that I’m so confused I need some help😭😭😭

    • Your decision to get this person’s number for your friend may have caused your partner to feel uncertain about your behaviors. You should speak with your boyfriend about the purpose of your action. Nourish your relationship by spending additional time together. In the future, if you are attempting to get a number for a friend, then have your boyfriend help you. Have a great day, Yasmine!

    • Thank you for sharing your positive comment. Please share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Yasmine!

  6. I’ve been with my fiance for three years and today, he accused me of liking his best friend. My fiance first noticed this when we went to his scout gathering for a graduated scout. I didn’t know literally anyone but him and his best friend, so whenever my fiance disappeared from sight, I went to his friend and stood near him. Now today he accused me of only watching a Flash just because his friend likes it, but I like marvel too, so it seemed odd, then also accused me saying that I watched his friends YouTube channel, when I only did once, just to see his friends reaction. I feel as if I really didn’t do anything wrong, but now he’s acting cruel and plain out CD towards anything I try to do. What can I do?

    • You didn’t do anything wrong. It is perfectly acceptable for you to maintain a social relationship with your fiance’s best friend. His behaviors are inappropriate and may be an indication that he is thinking about other people. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with your fiance about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. If he continues to be immature and inappropriate, then determine what kind of relationship you want to maintain and what type of person you want to be married to. Have a great day, Becca!

  7. So I have been dating this guy and just recently his been rude & ignoring my text messages
    He says he likes me but he says due to a new job and stresses he just not sure about time in a relationship. After reading this wondering why that is why he seems to be so rude to me lately? he was never like this to begin with. Whats the best thing to do in this situation?

    • He has made the decision to be rude to you. His behaviors are inappropriate. It is possible that there is another influence in his life. Make a decision about what you want for the future of this relationship. Determine what type of relationship you want to maintain. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings, and give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Kathleen!

  8. So Iv been dating this guy and he was never like this before. But since his got this new job he seems to be taking things out on me quiet a lot and also ignoring my text messages too. Shale I give him some space? As it seems his under some kind of stress.

    • Your partner has made the decision to be abusive and neglectful. This may be related to stress in his life. However, his behaviors are inappropriate. He should not treat you in this manner. Make a decision about what type of relationship you want to maintain. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. If he ignores you or treats you poorly, then you are aware of his feelings regarding your relationship. Have a great day, Kathleen!

  9. I get called names from the time i wake up to i fall asleep..i get told how Worthless and piece of shit i am..i get told im a Retard for not knowing his tools for his work jobs..my kids get talked about..its sad verbal abuse is mentally makibf me go crazy..

    • This person is abusive. Their behaviors are clear indications that he does not respect you. Make a decision about what you want for your future without him. If possible, you should take your children with you to your family or friends. Immediately, end this relationship, and determine what you want for your future without him. Have a great day, Latasha!

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