You used to be okay, but all of a sudden he’s becoming mean. He seems to be aloof and passive. He lashes out at you for the smallest things. And he’s becoming a little cold lately. So why would a guy suddenly become mean to you?
The Good Reasons
These are reasons you don’t really need to worry about that much. These are often just innocuous things that a guy does when he can’t handle what he’s feeling. Rest assured that these reasons don’t mean falling out of favor with the guy you’re with!
He is trying to cope with his feelings for you. For some guys, falling in love can feel like having a ton of bricks falling on their heads; they just don’t know what to do. And because of this confusion, he might decide to take it out on you. When a guy is being a little mean, it might be because he sees you as a reason for his confusion, and he’s just (immaturely) trying to get rid of the source of his turmoil.
He is not used to being with someone like you. Keep in mind that what you consider to be mean might be normal for a guy like him. For instance, you might think he’s being mean when he purposely ignores your texts. This could be leftover behavior from his experiences with women who like to play hard to get, and so he’s trying to play the same game with you. So when he’s being mean, try to think of what his motives may be and try to talk to him about it.
You did something he didn’t like, but he can’t put it into words. Guys can be pretty passive-aggressive too. You may not know it, but you may have done or said something that didn’t sit well with him. A more mature guy might talk to you about it, but a less mature guy might try to retaliate by being mean for no apparent reason. Word of advice: ask him directly about this, otherwise he’ll just keep being mean until he thinks you get the message.
He is frustrated with other things in his life. We’re not here to make excuses for a guy who is being mean to a girl, but some guys just don’t know how to handle frustration. When a guy is being mean by being passive towards you, there might be issues in his life that he’s currently preoccupied with. The best thing to do is to reach out to him and tell him that he’s not alone and that you can help him through whatever is going on in his life.
He just needs a little space. Is he pushing you away? If he is, he might not necessarily be pushing for a breakup. Instead, he might just need a little space to breathe. Perhaps he needs the space to sort out his life or his emotions, but either way, his way of telling you that he needs is space is by pushing you away with his meanness.
The Bad Reasons
Uh-oh. These are some of the reasons he’s being mean that might spell the end of your relationship!
He has conflicting feelings for you. This one isn’t so bad. It could just mean that he really likes you, but there’s just something wrong with the situation. Maybe he’s at a low point in his life or he’s looking to focus on his career instead of a relationship, and this is why he’s lashing out at you. On the bright side, you know that he still has feelings for you. On the other hand, those feelings might not outweigh his current situation.
He is starting to develop feelings for someone else. Oh man, this one hurts. When a guy is starting to fall in love with another person while still in a relationship with someone else, things can get nasty. He might not be man enough to admit his attraction to another person, so he’ll try to drive you away by being mean to you. Another reason he’s not treating you right is because he might see you as an obstacle between himself and this other person he likes. If this is the case, it’s best to drop the guy like a hot potato and move on!
He wants to break up. There are just some guys who don’t know how to say what they feel directly. So their solution is to be as mean to you as they can so that you’ll initiate the breakup. It’s a horrible way to go about things, but it’s something that a lot of people do to get out of the responsibility of being the one to break things off.
As a word of advice, don’t ever make excuses for a guy’s meanness. If he’s been hurting you for a while, you have to decide if your relationship is even worth salvaging. If it’s not, then say goodbye to the guy because you definitely deserve better!