Home Love & Relationship 13 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend’s So Mean

13 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend’s So Mean


We all expect our relationships to be filled with love and respect. For the most part, this is what many people experience. However, there are moments where we see a different side of our partner, a side that we didn’t expect. We all want a fairy tale romance to happen and of course, to live happily ever after. But what if the guy you’re dating is treating you disrespectfully? What if he’s simply mean to you? This could all be a huge misunderstanding and a lack of communication or it could be something else. So, instead of allowing this to continue, it’s best you figure out what’s causing this behaviour and deal with it right away. Whatever the reason is, there’s always a solution but remember, it has to start with him.

He’s not that into you

He’s just not that into you. It’s as simple as that. He’s just not that into you and he’s doing whatever he can to let you know that. He’s being mean, he’s hurting your feelings – he doesn’t care about you. If he did, he would be trying to make you smile and laugh.

He’s into the whole “game playing” business

Everyone thinks that dating is about “the game”. Now, in some way, there is a slight game playing aspect to it, for example, flirting is based on teasing each other and building sexual tension. Though, being mean isn’t a part of that. If he’s giving you low-blow compliments and being rude to you, he’s trying to emotionally manipulate you. He wants to leave you confused, that way, you’ll chase him.

He’s bored

He’s bored of the relationship. Does this mean you’re boring? No. If he’s bored of the relationship, honestly, change the guy. It doesn’t sound like he’s doing much to make this relationship work anyway. If he was really that bored, he could have done something to ignite the flame. But, of course, he didn’t. So, my advice to you, find someone who isn’t bored to be around you.


In some way, you hurt him. It could have been by doing something serious, like cheating on him or chatting to your ex. Or, it could be something less severe, though, it still hurt his feelings. Well, I didn’t say that all men are mature. If you noticed his behavoir change after you two had a fight, he’s trying to get back to you for what you did to him. I know, it’s very high school.

You two aren’t on the same page

You’re in love with him but he’s still paddling through the water – do you get what I mean? He’s being mean to you because he knows that you’re more invested in this relationship than he is. So, being mean to you creates some distance and shows you that he’s not on the same page as you. I mean, if he really loves you like you love him, why would he mean to you?

He doesn’t have manners

Some men simply were not raised with the teachings of having manners. Who knows why. Maybe his mother left his family when he was young or he had a disrespectful father. Point is, his behaviour is learned and it all starts within the home. This is actually a good test for you, if you want to see how he will treat a woman, see how he treats his mom. That’ll tell you everything. If he respects his mother, he will respect you. If not, run.

Lack of communication

Maybe you two both love each other equally, but lately you two haven’t been communicating. Communication is key for any healthy relationship. He could be mean because he feels you don’t listen or that you’re not giving him enough attention. Does he want to be mean? Probably not, but this is his reaction to feeling neglect. Now, to solve this, it’s easy. You two need to sit down and talk to each other. Find out what’s wrong and figure out a solution that suits both of you.

Something is bothering him

He’s thinking about something. About what? Don’t ask me, I can’t read his mind. But, it’s probably about someone else. I’m sorry to break it to you, if he’s stressed with work, he would let you know, but he probably wouldn’t be mean to you. If someone else is on his mind, he’ll distance himself from you because someone else is occupying his thoughts.

He feels suffocated

He needs some space. If you guys are always hanging out together, he may feel the need for some space, space that he isn’t getting. Now, do you want someone who’s going to make you feel bad because you want to be around them? That’s the question you need to be asking yourself. Though, if you’re not letting him shower without you being there, maybe you need to back off a bit.

He has needs that aren’t being fulfilled

I’m not saying you’re not providing him with enough sexual satisfaction – ‘needs’ are not always related to sex. But if he’s been acting mean to you and this isn’t his usual character, perhaps there’s something he feels is missing in your relationship. Maybe you’ve been working more and haven’t had time to spend with him, thus, he’s angry at you. Maybe you’ve been travelling lately and have been too tired to have sex. Listen, this isn’t a big deal, you and him simply need to communicate.

He wants to dump you

Usually, out of personal experience, I become mean to the guy that I want to breakup with. It’s horrible, I know, but this happens because I’m too scared to do it. If your boyfriend is usually nice to you but has been gradually becoming distant and mean to you, well, maybe he wants to end the relationship but he’s too scared to do it himself. Thus, he makes you hate him so you dump him.

He’s simply an asshole

Sadly, some people are just mean people. There’s nothing you can do about it. He’s just an asshole. There, I said it. He’s not going to change because he doesn’t see himself having a problem. Since you’re with him, you should see this as a warning sign for yourself. He was always mean, even from the beginning. So, why are you sticking around someone who is mean to you and doesn’t treat you with respect? Dump him and perhaps talk to a therapist. You don’t want this to become a routine in your relationships.

He actually has no idea how to treat a woman 

The guy has no idea what he should do. He may have deep feelings for you, but instead of going with the flow, he’s fighting against it. Maybe he doesn’t want to fall in love, so, instead of expressing this, he pushes you away. Maybe he ignores you, makes fun of you or says other offence things to you. Point is, his insecurities are projecting onto you through his negativity. Listen, in this case, the only thing you can do is express how you feel and then either see if he changes or leave him. Though, honestly, if I were you, I wouldn’t stick around. He’ll realize it when you dump him. Maybe he’ll come around, maybe he won’t, but you need someone who’s going to give you themselves.

Now that you know the reasons as to why he’s mean to you, it’s time you narrowed it down. The best way to figure this out is to speak to him. Sit down with and be honest with what you’re seeing and how you’re feeling. A relationship is based on communication, so regardless if this will end in a breakup or continuing the relationship, you have a right to know why he’s not treating you with respect. Remember, you deserve open and honest communication with your partner, I mean, that’s one of the reasons why you’re with him, you trust and respect him. So, don’t be shy to bring this up in conversation. Yes, it will be hard to do, however, you’ll feel relieved with whatever the outcome is. If the relationship ends, know that now you’ll be able to find someone who really wants to be with you. Good luck!


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